Today’s Holiday: November 4 is Diwali in many countries.
Some music for today.
04
Nov
2021
Month: November 2021
03
Nov
2021
THURSDAY
Today’s Holiday: November 3 is Culture Day in Japan, a national holiday for the purpose of promoting culture, the arts, and academic endeavor.
Some signsssss
Today is the birthday of John Barry. He wrote the Grammy and Academy Award winning scores of Out of Africa and Dances with Wolves and many, many others. Most memorably, however, he wrote the scores to 11 James Bond films between 1963 and 1987 including this, his most famous composition…
02
Nov
2021
Feels like TUESDAY
Today is Micronesia Independence Day!
Cheese turds???
NAME CHANGE!
Bada Bing!
As a Sunday school teacher long ago, we were reading a passage that included the word “bastard”. One kid said, “Oh, that’s a bad word!” Another chimed in with, “No, it’s just a bad driver”.
Where’s my chiropractor joke? I posted it about a week back.
Does a railway worker have to be trained?
I have an inferiority complex.But it’s not a very good one.
Aliens arrive on Earth. Delegations from different countries, religious leaders gather around and ask the newcomers about their lives. When the Pope’s turn comes, he asks: “Do you know about the Savior and our Lord our God, Jesus Christ?” “Ah, Jesus,” the alien replies. “Of course we know him. He visits us every year to make sure we’re okay.” Surprised, the Pope exclaims: “Every year? We have been waiting for his second coming for 2000 years!” The newcomer sees that the pope is beginning to get angry, and tries to calm him down: “Well, maybe he likes our chocolate more than yours.” The pope is amazed: “Chocolate? And what does it have to do with it?” “Yes, chocolate. When he first visited our planet, we gave him a nice box of chocolates. Wait, what did you do?”
Why is it there are poptarts but no momtarts?Because of the pastryarchy.
I have some skeleton puns. They are very humerus.I also have some vampire puns, but they suck.
I’m trying to put some Frankenstein puns together.
Today is the birthday, in 1937, of Earl Carroll, lead vocalist for The Cadillacs. The group was a doo-wop pioneer and one of the first to experiment with choreography. BTW, Earl Carroll’s real nickname was ‘Speedo’. This song became a hit in 1955.
01
Nov
2021
MONDAY
Today in Bhutan they celebrate the anniversary of the coronation of King Jigme Kheysar Namgyel Wangchuk. Here he is on his wedding day with his wife Jetsun Pema who became Queen Ashi Jetsun Pema Wangchuck.
Now, back to humor…
Stuck in the middle with ewe
Two Lists
Readers were asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13. Pokemon, n.. A Rastafarian proctologist.
14. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
16. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of jockey shorts worn by circumcised men.
And……
1. ARBITRAITOR A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonald’s
2. BERNADETTE The act of torching a mortgage.
3. BURGLARIZE What a crook sees through
4. AVOIDABLE What a bullfighter tries to do
5. EYEDROPPER Clumsy ophthalmologist
6. CONTROL A short, ugly inmate.
7. COUNTERFEITER Workers who put together kitchen cabinets
8. ECLIPSE What an English barber does for a living.
9. LEFT BANK What the bank robbers did when their bag was full of money.
10. HEROES What a man in a boat does
11. PARASITES What you see from the Eiffel Tower
12. PARADOX Two physicians
13. PHARMACIST A helper on a farm
14. POLARIZE What penguins see through
15. PRIMATE Remove your spouse from in front of the TV
16. RELIEF What trees do in the spring
17. RUBBERNECK What you do to relax your wife
18. SELFISH What the owner of a seafood store does
19. SUDAFED Brought litigation against a government official
20. PARADIGMS Twenty Cents
Today is the birthday, in 1951, of Robert Bell, also known as Khalis Bayyan. He was a singer, songwriter, producer, saxophonist and founding member of Kool and the Gang who had this number one hit.
Comments