Humor

Apr

2021

It’s FRIDAY!!!

Waiting to start the weekend

Tiny apartment. Working for other people all the time. Often cold and malicious. My God... this is where genies come from.

Rare photo of 1970’s remote control

Today is the birthday, in 1943, of Bobby Vee, teen idol in the early 1960s.

Apr

2021

Today is the birthday, in 1899, of Duke Ellington. He was born in Washington, DC and spent most of his career. His parents were pianists who lived on Ward Place in Washington’s ‘West End’. His first job was selling peanuts at Washington Senator’s games. As a young man he moved to NYC and became a part of the ‘Harlem renaissance’. Here is one of his most famous pieces.

Apr

2021

and WEDNESDAY rolls around

Please keep your hatemail as technically inscrutable as possible.

On this day in 1979, Blondie hit number one with ‘Heart of Glass’. It was the first of four number one hits for the group.

Apr

2021

Tuesday, Tuesday…

The transition from rural to suburban…

Teach your kids!

One guy just fell from the top, screaming and shaking his fists, and that's where Russians come from.

Bada Bing!

What is the first prize in a competition to lose muscle mass? A trophy.

Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.In our lab, theory and practice are combined,nothing works and no one knows why.

If Watson isn’t the most famous doctor, then Who is.

How to cook crack and clean a crab.Step one: Use commas.

Back in my day, we didn’t have cup holders in our cars.We had to hold our beer between our legs to drive.

I haven’t shoveled the driveway once this year, since I got the flame thrower.

A pastor was giving a children’s sermon and asked: Why do you think I wear this collar?One kid answered: Because it kills ticks and fleas for up to 30 days?

I don’t want to brag or make anyone jealous, but I can still fit into the socks I wore in high school.

One day Youtube, Twitter, and Facebook will join and be called Youtwitface.

It’s sad that even your very best homework efforts gets your kid detention.

I need a new friend. The last one escaped.

Her: Ohhhh…. undress me with your words.Him: There’s a spider in your bra.

If you’re being chased by a pack of taxidermists, do not play dead.

Other than if I slowed my breathing and stopped blinking, I’m not sure if it would be possible for me to be any lazier than I’ve been today.

I accidentally called Alexa “Siri”. Now the thermostat is set to 90 degrees and I can’t unlock my doors or open my windows.

The first rule of the Condescending Club is really kind of complex and I don’t think you’d understand it even if I explained it to you.

Why it takes me so long to do this every morning…