Today is Victory and Homeland Thanksgiving Day, a public holiday in Croatia. The full title of the holiday is ‘Victory and Homeland Thanksgiving Day and the Day of Croatian Defenders’. In Croatian, it is known as ‘Dan pobjede i domovinske zahvalnosti i dan hrvatskih branitelja’.
The holiday commemorates the liberation of the city of Knin on this day in 1995.
Do you know why I stopped you?
Signzzzz
Here’s a song many of you will remember…
Today is Culturama Day, a public holiday in St. Kitts and Nevis. It extends the Emancipation Day holidays by one day and is a festival that showcases the cultural heritage of the islands.
Resume
Bada Bing!
I bought a can of fly spray and sprayed it all over me. I still can’t fly.
When you have more than one kid, it’s important to take them out separately for ice cream sometimes. They get important one on one time, and you get more ice cream.
Idolizing a politician is like believing the stripper really likes you.
I got my paycheck and the envelope was full of parsley. Somebody garnished my wages.
My life feels like a test I didn’t study for.
1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.
2. To me, “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it.
3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
4. It’s the start of a brand new day, and I’m off like a herd of turtles.
5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
6. When I say, “The other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.
7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.
8. I had my patience tested. I’m negative.
9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers.
10. If you’re sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, “Did you bring the money?”
SIGNZZZZ
On this day in 1975, the Eagles went to number one with this hit song.
Today is Emancipation Day, a public holiday in most English-speaking Caribbean nations. It marks the end of slavery in the British Empire on August 1, 1834.
Today is the birthday, in 1942, of Jerry Garcia of the Grateful Dead. Garcia also founded a variety of side projects, including the Saunders–Garcia Band, the Jerry Garcia Band, Old and in the Way, the Garcia/Grisman acoustic duo, Legion of Mary, and the New Riders of the Purple Sage. He also did a bit of art – I own a number of Jerry Garcia ties.
Today is Independence Day, a public holiday in Liberia. The date commemorates the adoption of the Liberian Constitution and declaration of independence in 1947.
Bada Bing!
My husband said he did a double take when he first met me. But I’ve also seen him do a double take on a free pile of dirt.
Maintenance came by today but only left a note. The note said, “Black cat said NO!”
Me: How many loads of laundry can this thing hold? Salesperson: Ummm… This is a dining table. Me: And?
I hate it when I go out in public and the public is there.
How did a fool and his money get together in the first place? — Steven Wright
Absurdity is assigning you “The Grapes of Wrath” at 16 and tear-gassing you at 26 for understanding it.
Getting older is just one body part after another saying, “HA! You think that’s bad? Watch this!”
My goal in life is to piss off at least one person a day. So far I’m about 4 years ahead of schedule.
One great thing about this heat. You can be guaranteed no one is waiting in your backseat to kill you.
Men, if you are over 50, leave the young girls alone and find a woman who understands the signs of a stroke.
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