Today is Union Day, a public holiday, in Tanzania. It commemorates the union of Zanzibar and Tanganyika on April 26th 1964.
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Bada Bing!
War is God’s way of teaching Americans geography.
Sign at a restaurant…If our food, drinks, or service is not up to your expectations, please lower your expectations.
I shine a laser pointer in my neighbors’ window when they are gone. Their cat has trashed 3 sets of mini-blinds chasing it. They have no idea it’s me.
Did you know smoking is good for the environment because it kills humans?
If you hide 48 eggs and tell the kids there are 50, you can get a little nap in.
I got a job at Comcast and completed training so I could fix my own cable because it was faster than being on hold with customer service.
Remember when you could refer to your knees as right and left instead of good and bad?
On a road trip passing a billboard that says live girls dancing daily. My daughter’s voice from the backseat, “wow, that’s a lot of recitals.”
Q: What do you call dental X-rays? A: Tooth pics
Q: What do you call a group of babies? A: An infantry.
Q: Did you hear about the Italian chef who died? A: He pastaway.
Q: Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? A: Because they lactose.
Q: What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A: A dinosnore.
Q: How does NASA organize a party? A: They planet.
Q: What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? A: Same middle name.
Q: What did the left eye say to the right eye? A: Between you and me, something smells.
Q: why didn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? A: It was two tired.
Q: What did the window feel when it was hit by a stone? A: It felt the pane.
Devil: This is the lake of lava that you’ll be spending eternity in. Me: Actually we’re underground so it would be magma. Devil: You realize this is why you’re here.
Have a great day!
Today is the birthday, in 1943, of Gary Wright, who had this hit.
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