BADA BING!
A man survived a Kodiak bear attack with just a .22 pistol.The friend he shot in the knee was not as lucky.
The only reason the pyramids still exist in Egypt is that they were too heavy for the British to steal and put in the British Museum.
A boss hangs a poster in his office that says, “I am the boss, do not forget!”He returns from lunch and finds a note on his desk.”Your wife called, she wants you to bring her poster back home.”
One great thing about this heat, no one is waiting in your backseat to kill you.
Lawyer in court… I’d to request a brief recess, your honor. My witness’s pants are on fire.
In time, chemistry jokes will get no reaction, and physics jokes will lose momentum.
I have not figured out how to have a wine collection.I do, however, have an extensive cork collection.
Doctor: My advice is to eat more food from the ocean.Wife: Where are you going?Husband: I’m taking the pig to the beach.
The person who fixes the roof of Big Ben is always working overtime.
Husband: Honey, can you toast some muffins?Wife: Raises wine glass. Here’s to muffins.
Signsssss
Today is the birthday, in 1942, of Roger McGuinn, frontman and leader of The Byrds.
Bada Bing!
Everyone has heard of the historical figure, Karl Marx.But no one remembers his sister, Onya, who invented the starting pistol.
I’m so sick and tired of my friends who can’t handle their alcohol. Last night they dropped me 3 times trying to carry me to the car.
My wife is singing in the house.I’m sitting outside so the neighbors don’t think I’m hitting her.
You and your child are driving at night along a deserted road. You come across an old van piled full of money with the driver dead at the wheel. What lesson do you teach your child?Lift with your legs, not your back.
Adulthood is saying, “But after this week things will slow down a bit”, over and over until you die.
Today is the birthday, in 1940, of Richard Starkey, better known as Ringo Starr. During his long journey with The Beatles, he rarely sang lead but there are a few Beatles songs that featured Ringo. Here, he and Paul McCartney sing on the most popular of the Beatle’s songs featuring Ringo.
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