Today is Royal Brunei Armed Forces Day – a public holiday in Brunei Darussalam. This public holiday marks the formation of the Royal Brunei Armed Forces on 31 May 1961. Brunei had been a British protectorate since 1888, and as such, was reliant on the British armed forces for protection and defense.
On 31 May 1961, to prepare for future independence, recruits from Brunei began military training, creating the first Brunei military force named the Brunei Malay Regiment. On 31 May 1965, the regiment was honored with the royal title.
When Brunei gained independence from Britain on 1 January 1984, the Royal Brunei Malay Regiment was renamed as the Royal Brunei Armed Forces.
Bada Bing!
Sometimes I think I’m reasonably intelligent, and sometimes I click the remote car door lock a second or third time for extra lockiness.
Every one thinks you’re good at keeping secrets when actually you’re just good at forgetting them.
At Halloween, a kid came to the door with a sign for a costume. It said, ‘I love ceilings’. “What are you?” “I’m a ceiling fan!” I gave him all the candy.
My boss asked me why I only get sick on work days. I said it must be my weekend immune system.
That feeling you have when your lunch break is over and you still have to work another 30 years.
Why do you want this job? I’ve always been passionate about not starving to death.
My mind thinks I’m 25 but my body thinks I’m an idiot.
I never finish anything. I have a black belt in partial arts.
Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Me: In your chair, but asking better questions.
Today is the anniversary of the death in 1809 of Joseph Haydn. This piece is the second movement of his symphony 101 – The Clock. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jN8sV0CPXr8
Today is Labour Day, a public holiday in Jamaica. Labour Day in Jamaica commemorates a labor rebellion on this day in 1938 that contributed to Jamaican independence. The rebellion was led by Alexander Bustamante who gained prominence during the rebellion, becoming a noted trade union leader and eventually becoming Jamaica’s first prime minister following independence.
COURT LIFE
ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?
WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’
ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan!
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ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
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ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
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ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July 18th.
ATTORNEY: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
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ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.
ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
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ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget..
ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
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ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
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ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.
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ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS: Are you shitting me?
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ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS: Getting laid
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ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
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ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death..
ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS: Take a guess.
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ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard
ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male.
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ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
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ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral…
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ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PM
ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.
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ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?
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ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No..
ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.
Today is Prince Jonah Kūhiō Kalaniana‘ole Day, a public holiday in Hawai‘i. Prince Jonah Kuhio was born on 26 March 1871 into Hawaiian nobility. By the age of 13, he was an orphan as both parents had died by 1884. He was adopted by Queen Kapiʻolani, who was his aunt, making Kuhio a prince of the Kingdom of Hawai’i.
Today is Independence Day in Namibia, a public holiday. The holiday celebrates Namibia’s independence from South Africa on March 21st 1990.
Today is the birthday, in 1685, of Johann Sebastian Bach. There are so many pieces to choose from but this one is kind of spring-like. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdsyNwUoON0
Today is Saint Joseph’s Day, a public holiday in Colombia. Saint Joseph’s Day is the feast day for Joseph, the husband of Mary and the adoptive and earthly father of Jesus according to Christian belief. In Colombia, Saint Joseph’s Day is also referred to as “Dia del Hombre”, meaning “Day of Men”. It is seen as a celebration not only of Joseph and of the role of good fathers, but also of the role of men in general in society.
KOLLEDGE
Today is the Spring Equinox in the northern hemisphere. In pagan circles it is a day to honor the Goddess of Spring known as Ostara or Eostre (from whose name the word “Easter” comes).
Saturday was the birthday, in 1844, of Nikolai Rimsky-Korsakov, Russian romantic composer. Here is the amazing Yuja Wang playing ‘Flight of the Bumblebee’ a musical interlude from his opera – the Tale of Tsar Saltan. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8alxBofd_eQ
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