Today is Commonwealth Day in Tuvalu and 55 other countries. Commonwealth Day 2023 marks the tenth anniversary of the signing of the Commonwealth Charter, which was signed by Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II on 11 March 2013.
Commonwealth Flag
Seems reasonable…
Monday morning…
SIGNZ
Today is the birthday, in 1939, of Neil Sedaka, American singer and songwriter who had the 1959 UK No.3 single ‘Oh Carol’ plus over 30 US & 14 UK other Top 40 singles including the 1962 US No.1 & UK No.7 single ‘Breaking Up Is Hard To Do’. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tbad22CKlB4
Today is Liberation Day in Guernsey and Jersey. On 9 May 1945, HMS Bulldog arrived in St Peter Port, Guernsey, and the German forces surrendered unconditionally aboard the vessel at dawn. The same day, HMS Beagle, which had set out from Plymouth, arrived in Jersey to accept the surrender of the occupying forces there. Sark was liberated on 10 May 1945, and the German troops in Alderney surrendered on 16 May 1945.
Motherhood
Jonah’s mother: “That’s a nice story. Now tell me where you’ve really been for the last three days.”
Mrs. Columbus: “I don’t care what you discovered — you still could have written!”
Mrs. Angelo: “Michael, why can’t you paint on walls, like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?”
Mona Lisa’s mother: “After all the money your father and I spent on braces, that’s the biggest smile you can give us?”
Mrs. Bonaparte: “All right, if you aren’t hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me.”
Mrs. Revere: “I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!”
Mrs. Washington: “The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance goodbye!”
Mrs. Lincoln: “Again with the stovepipe hat? Why can’t you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?”
Mrs. Edison: “Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Tommy. Now turn it off and go to bed!”
Mrs. Einstein: “But it’s your senior picture, Albert. Can’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something?”
Mrs. Locks: “I just got a bill for a broken chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?”
Mrs. Muffet: “Well, if you don’t get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there’ll be a lot more spiders around here!”
Mrs. Kent: “Clark, your father and I have decided to get you your own telephone. Now will you quit spending so much time in phone booths?”
Getting close to wedding season…
Today is the birthday, in 1941, of Danny Rapp, frontman for the doo-wop group Danny and the Juniors.
Today’s holiday is Ill Full Moon Poya Day in Sri Lanka. Every full moon (usually once a month) is a public holiday in Sri Lanka. Each of the full moons has its own name and they are days to commemorate key events in Buddhism. This Poya celebrates the obtaining of Vivarana (the assurance of becoming a Buddha) by the Bodhisatta Maitriya and the commissioning of 60 disciples by The Buddha to disperse his teachings.
As a Sunday school teacher long ago, we were reading a passage that included the word “bastard”. One kid said, “Oh, that’s a bad word!” Another chimed in with, “No, it’s just a bad driver”.
Where’s my chiropractor joke? I posted it about a week back.
Does a railway worker have to be trained?
I have an inferiority complex.But it’s not a very good one.
Aliens arrive on Earth. Delegations from different countries, religious leaders gather around and ask the newcomers about their lives. When the Pope’s turn comes, he asks: “Do you know about the Savior and our Lord our God, Jesus Christ?” “Ah, Jesus,” the alien replies. “Of course we know him. He visits us every year to make sure we’re okay.” Surprised, the Pope exclaims: “Every year? We have been waiting for his second coming for 2000 years!” The newcomer sees that the pope is beginning to get angry, and tries to calm him down: “Well, maybe he likes our chocolate more than yours.” The pope is amazed: “Chocolate? And what does it have to do with it?” “Yes, chocolate. When he first visited our planet, we gave him a nice box of chocolates. Wait, what did you do?”
Why is it there are poptarts but no momtarts?Because of the pastryarchy.
I have some skeleton puns. They are very humerus.I also have some vampire puns, but they suck.
I’m trying to put some Frankenstein puns together.
Today is the birthday, in 1937, of Earl Carroll, lead vocalist for The Cadillacs. The group was a doo-wop pioneer and one of the first to experiment with choreography. BTW, Earl Carroll’s real nickname was ‘Speedo’. This song became a hit in 1955.
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