eighties music

Today is the birthday if King Mswati III. It is a public holiday in Eswatini, formerly known as Swaziland. The king was born in 1968. He currently has 15 wives and 23 children. His father had more than 125 wives during his 82 year reign.

Bada Bing!

Is the fall of Rome comparable to the current situation in the United States? Nope, Rome had good roads.

I saw a sign that said “Falling Rocks.” I tried. It doesn’t.

I just found out the neighborhood had a meeting about the crazy person on the block. It’s weird that they didn’t invite me.

Cop: You’re going to jail for forgery. Me: *slides him a 37-dollar bill* What about now?

Dr. Oz says rubbing coffee grounds on your naked body prevents cellulite. APPARENTLY, you can’t do it in Starbucks. And now the cops are here…

A minister was completing a temperance sermon. With great emphasis he said,’If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.

‘With even greater emphasis he said, ‘And if I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.’

And then finally, shaking his fist in the air, he said, ‘And if I had all the whisky in the world, I’d take it and pour it into the river.’

Sermon complete, he sat down …The choir leader stood up very cautiously and announced with a smile, almost laughing, ‘For our closing Hymn, Let us sing Hymn No. 723, ‘Shall We Gather at the River.’

A California cosmetic clinic is opening a new office where breast augmentation surgery is done on an outpatient basis in about thirty minutes. They are going to call it “Jiffy Boobs.”

I decided to make sure my wife woke up with a smile on her face this morning. I can’t have sharpies in the house anymore.

On this day in 1980, Blondie went to number one on the singles chart in the US and UK with this song.