Uh Oh…
Did you hear about the chameleon that couldn’t change color?He had a reptile dysfunction.
Someone once told me, “You’re never going to forget me”.I just can’t remember who it was.
The true meaning of opaque is unclear.
Can everyone who is here for the yodeling lessons…Please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.
People say being a waiter is a bad job.But, hey, it puts food on the table.
My daughter said, “You’re the best Dad ever!”. I’m really proud she is learning sarcasm at such a young age.
Principal calls a dad…Principal: Your son always causes trouble here in school.Dad: He always causes trouble at home too, did I ever call you?
I bought a wig today for only a dollar.It was a small price toupee.
If Fox News had been around in 1955, we’d still have polio.
Sign next to the oval office desk.This workplace has gone -100- days without an overwhelming sense of dread.
I told my daughter I saw a deer on the way to work this morning.She asked me, “How did you know it was on its way to work?”
I wasn’t planning on going for a run today.But those cops came out of nowhere!
St. Louis County Republicans assert that gender-neutral bathrooms are an attack on traditional family values and religious freedom.(That’s the joke.)
Today is the birthday, in 1888, of the remarkable Irving Berlin. Here’s some of his work…
and here’s Nathan Lane with another Berlin classic.
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