St. Andrew the First-Called Day is a public holiday in Georgia celebrated annually on May 12th. Andrew is credited with spreading the gospel to several regions in Eastern Europe such as Georgia, Greece, Romania and Russia.
Suspicious…
Weird? You decide.
Today is the birthday, in 1948, of Steve Winwood. Here he is playing and singing with the Spencer Davis Group.
Today is the Death Anniversary of Zhabdrung, a public holiday in Bhutan. The nation of Bhutan was founded in the 17th century by Zhabdrung (meaning “at whose feet one submits”) Ngawang Namgyal, a Tibetan Buddhist lama, known colloquially as the Bearded Lama.
Animals Stealing Our Jobs
LANGUAGE
I don’t judge people based on race, creed, color, or gender. I judge people based on spelling, grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure.
❧ ❧ ❧ ❧ ❧
English literature: I will die for honor.
French literature: I will die for love.
American literature: I will die for freedom.
Russian literature: I will die.
❧ ❧ ❧ ❧ ❧
Imagine trying to learn English and finding out that butt dialing and booty calls are two different things.
❧ ❧ ❧ ❧ ❧
Wife: You need to do more chores around the house.
Husband: Can we change the subject?
Wife: All right. More chores around the house need to be done by you.
Follow up to my earlier item about Frederick Mercury and Brian May…
Today is Mother’s Day, a public holiday in El Salvador. Today is also Mother’s Day (Día de las Madres) in Mexico and Guatemala.
Bada Bing!
I gave this homeless guy $5 and an old lady behind me said he’s just going to use it to buy drugs. So I confronted him and asked him where I could also get drugs for $5.
Waffles are just pancakes that are ribbed for your pleasure.
I’m getting real sick and tired of food having calories.
Spilling wine is the adult equivalent of a kid letting go of a balloon.
Jokes on you hot chick at the bar who gave me a radio station’s phone number. I just won Harlem Globetrotter tickets and a Bud Light poncho.
Tweets About The Petty Things Couples Do When They’re Mad At Each Other…
My husband pissed me off so when he wasn’t looking I poured water on the floor in front of the dishwasher. He’s been fixing it for the past 2 hours.
My husband pissed me off so I sent him a picture of the thermostat set to 74 degrees.
When I’m mad at my husband, I ask him to help me find my phone and then put it in my pocket on silent.
I know it sounds mean but when I’m mad at my wife and want to lash out, I open a bottle of some condiment when there’s already one open.
I’m mad at my wife so I liked a lot of songs on her Pandora playlist that I know she didn’t like.
My wife ate the last donut this morning so I went in her car and readjusted the driver’s seat and mirrors.
My husband pissed me off so for dinner I’m making him Kale And Tofu Salad.
OH! And did you remember that April was Procrastination Awareness Month?
Today is the birthday, in 1946, of Donovan Phillips Leitch, known professionally as Donovan.
Today is Liberation Day in Guernsey and Jersey. On 9 May 1945, HMS Bulldog arrived in St Peter Port, Guernsey, and the German forces surrendered unconditionally aboard the vessel at dawn. The same day, HMS Beagle, which had set out from Plymouth, arrived in Jersey to accept the surrender of the occupying forces there. Sark was liberated on 10 May 1945, and the German troops in Alderney surrendered on 16 May 1945.
Motherhood
Jonah’s mother: “That’s a nice story. Now tell me where you’ve really been for the last three days.”
Mrs. Columbus: “I don’t care what you discovered — you still could have written!”
Mrs. Angelo: “Michael, why can’t you paint on walls, like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?”
Mona Lisa’s mother: “After all the money your father and I spent on braces, that’s the biggest smile you can give us?”
Mrs. Bonaparte: “All right, if you aren’t hiding your report card inside your jacket, take your hand out of there and show me.”
Mrs. Revere: “I don’t care where you think you have to go, young man. Midnight is past your curfew!”
Mrs. Washington: “The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance goodbye!”
Mrs. Lincoln: “Again with the stovepipe hat? Why can’t you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?”
Mrs. Edison: “Of course I’m proud that you invented the electric light bulb, Tommy. Now turn it off and go to bed!”
Mrs. Einstein: “But it’s your senior picture, Albert. Can’t you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something?”
Mrs. Locks: “I just got a bill for a broken chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?”
Mrs. Muffet: “Well, if you don’t get off your tuffet and start cleaning your room, there’ll be a lot more spiders around here!”
Mrs. Kent: “Clark, your father and I have decided to get you your own telephone. Now will you quit spending so much time in phone booths?”
Getting close to wedding season…
Today is the birthday, in 1941, of Danny Rapp, frontman for the doo-wop group Danny and the Juniors.
Today is St. George’s Day in Bulgaria, also known as the Day of Valour and of the Bulgarian Armed Forces.
Signzzzzzz
But cats actually help with jigsaw puzzles!
On this day in 1978, the soundtrack album to Saturday Night Fever started an 18 week run at number one. The album featured 7 tracks by the Bee Gees.
Comments