A woman goes to the doctor looking fantastic. Hair and makeup done by a professional, Gucci heels, Versace dress, and Prada purse. “I’ve been stung by a nasty insect of some kind,” she tells the doctor, “…but I’m ashamed to tell you where.” “It’s okay,” says the doctor. “Our communication is privileged; I won’t tell anyone.” “Okay,” says the woman, “It was at Walmart.”
Want to know where I store all my dad jokes? In a dad-a-base.
How do babies keep track of their fathers?They use an extensive dada-base.
I thought I got a job building Egyptian tombs.Turned out to be a pyramid scheme.
Do they allow loud laughing in Hawaii, or just a low ha?
Paddy says to Mick, “I found this pen. Is it yours?”Mick replies, “I don’t know, give it here.”He tries it and says, “Yes it is!”Paddy asks, “How do you know?”Mick says, “That’s my handwriting!”
Musical Moment
Today is the birthday (in 1939 in Greenwood, Mississippi) of Betty Everett. She is best known for her 1964 hit ‘The Shoop Shoop Song’. She had a number of other hits including the duet with Jerry Butler, ‘Let It Be Me’. Here she is. (If you’re getting this post by email you’ll have to click on the link to hear/see it.)
I just finished reading ‘The Heart Goes Last’, a novel by Margaret Atwood. Atwood is justly famous for her dystopian novels and that are rich in character but sometimes flow slowly. This one is different.
The Heart Goes Last can only be described as a rather kinky dystopian novel with some lead characters that have the internal monologue of a tape on an endless loop. It’s quite funny in parts and well-written and it’s clear she had some fun with this one.
Stan and Charmaine are victims of a vast economic collapse, living in their car and scrambling for gas and food money. When a prosperous planned community offers an escape from post-apocalyptic misery, they don’t question the details. That’s just as well, since the details of Consilience don’t follow any rational logic. The thriving city is built around Positron Prison, and residents like Stan and Charmaine are expected to alternate months as support staff and prisoners, with each group providing work and a rationale for the other. Consilience promises a meaningful life of luxury, in complete isolation from the outside world. The catch, of course, is that once you enter, you can’t leave; it’s the roach hotel of the postmodern world.
Charmaine and Stan love it at first. The months in the slammer aren’t too bad – Stan tends chickens and Charmaine has a job administering medicine. Things get complicated when Charmaine becomes obsessed with the guy part of the couple who inhabits their house when Stan and Charmaine are in prison. Also, she discovers that her ‘medicine administration’ is simply a death cocktail for the unlucky recipients.
Like all dystopias, there are big brothers spying on everyone and so forth but that’s not important. Things get a bit crazier when they get involved with an underground movement to bring down the rulers of the place and the ‘possibilibots’ which are basically very advanced sex robots. Stan escapes disguised as an Elvis sex robot and, if possible, things get a little crazier.
When the CARES Act passed in April, it was an historic step by our government to mitigate the effect of the COVID pandemic on our people and economy. The $2.2 billion provided by the act supported enhanced unemployment benefits, stimulus payments to individuals and families, the Payroll Protection Plan to allow businesses to keep employees on the payroll, funds for state and local governments to cover COVID-related costs and support for students and renters to suspend student loan repayments and many kinds of evictions.
While the CARES Act was successful in many ways, most of the benefits have either expired or are about to expire even though unemployment continues at very high levels, business bankruptcies are growing, economic activity remains depressed, state and local governments are suffering from increased costs and decreased revenue and the threat of further bankruptcies and more economic and health damage continues.
FILE – In this May 21, 2020 file photo, a man looks at signs of a closed store due to COVID-19 in Niles, Ill. U.S. businesses shed 2.76 million jobs in May, as the economic damage from the historically unrivaled coronavirus outbreak stretched into a third month. The payroll company ADP reported Wednesday that businesses have let go of a combined 22.6 million jobs since March.AP Photo/Nam Y. Huh, File)
In light of this, the House of Representatives passed legislation two months ago to provide additional stimulus and relief totaling almost $4 billion for individuals, families, businesses, healthcare providers, state and local governments and others. the Republican-led Senate, however, has been unable to pass any corresponding legislation and the Senate leadership and the White House oppose most of the initiatives included in the House bill. This is creating a severe hardship for many Americans which can only get worse with further layoffs and business closings in the future and evictions and homelessness in the future for many of those whose unemployment benefits have been cut or the newly unemployed.
So I was heartened to see that a bipartisan group of representatives called ‘The Problem Solvers Caucus’ had proposed a framework for a COVID 19 relief package that might help move things along. I’m cautious because this group hasn’t really had much of an impact until now but perhaps this will go somewhere.
The package being proposed represents, of course, a compromise between the administration position and the legislation passed by the House. In my view it’s far from perfect but better than nothing. Here are the basic elements:
$100 billion for testing and healthcare, primarily for providers
$316 billion in support for families and individuals including increases in WIC/SNAP, direct stimulus payments as in the CARES Act, Rental assistance for the most needy and Student Loan forbearance through December.
$120 billion for unemployment assistance including $450 weekly supplement for 8 weeks followed by up to $600 but not to exceed previous salary for 13 weeks.
$290 billion for small businesses and nonprofits including a second PPP program with a focus on small and community banks and $50 billion for employee retention tax credits
$145 billion for schools and childcare including $15 billion for childcare providers, $100 billion for K-12 schools and $30 billion for higher education
$500.3 billion for state and local governments, most of it to make up for general revenue shortfalls.
I think in some of these categories there is not enough money but, as I said before – it’s better than nothing and nothing is what we will get if the current gridlock continues. I will keep my fingers crossed.
TOPSHOT – A law enforcement officer watches flames launch into the air as fire continues to spread at the Bear fire in Oroville, California on September 9, 2020.
We’ve heard a lot about global warming and climate change and, though there are some diehard ‘head in the sands’ deniers, most of us understand that this is a serious and growing problem. The physics and chemistry of global warming/climate change are well understood and we’re seeing the impacts more and more every year and every day.
The American west is burning up from huge wildfires much as parts of Australia did earlier in the year. The National Hurricane Center is currently tracking SEVEN disturbances in the Atlantic basin that are either already hurricanes or may become hurricanes.
Flooding is becoming more serious and more frequent not only on our coasts due to sea level rise but also across the country and the world as a warmer atmosphere can hold more water and drop it in torrential rainfalls.
This is a global problem that will require solutions on the national and international level and, like most of you, I am frustrated by the slow pace of progress on this issue and the unwillingness or inability of our leaders to deal with this problem. We need to keep pressing our leaders to take decisive action on this problem.
But, while we are waiting for more large-scale action, there are things we can and should do on a personal level to help mitigate global warming. Sure, our actions will be just a drop in the bucket but enough drops fill the bucket. So I urge you to take these actions now:
Plant a Tree. Trees absorb carbon dioxide which makes up more than 80% of the greenhouse gasses causing global warming. According to the journal, Science, just letting our forests grow could absorb roughly two-thirds of the carbon dioxide emitted by human activity. Trees also result in enhanced biodiversity, soil water retention, soil health and may contribute to food security and economic development for rural communities. If you can’t plant a tree yourself, contribute to One Tree Planted – a nonprofit which plants trees around the world.
Use LED Lights. Replacing all of our incandescent light bulbs with LED bulbs will reduce our electricity use. LED bulbs use about 80% less electricity than conventional incandescent bulbs and last about 25 times longer. Electricity production is one of the largest emitters of greenhouse gasses and every reduction in our electricity use, no matter how small, reduces the emission of greenhouse gasses. Even though we are increasing the amount of our electricity generated by renewable resources – solar and wind – most electricity in our country is still generated by burning fossil fuels.
Source – American Public Power Institute
Reduce Your Electricity Use. There are plenty of other ways to easily reduce your electricity use:
Buy energy efficient appliances,
Dry clothes outdoors when possible,
Caulk your windows and doors,
Unplug electronic devices when you’re not using them,
Wash clothes in cold water,
Change your air filters regularly,
Close curtains and blinds on the sunny side of the house in the summer,
Turn off lights when you leave the room, Use a programmable thermostat to reduce your heating/cooling costs when you’re away.
Adjust Your Transportation Habits. Transportation is responsible for more greenhouse gas emissions in the USA than any other source and most of those emissions are from cars and trucks. These steps will help reduce the global warming impact of your car:
Keep your car tuned up.
Keep your tires inflated.
Share rides when you can.
Buy a climate-friendly car – preferably an electric one (a growing proportion of our electricity is generated by renewable resources).
Stop Eating Beef.
Emissions from animal agriculture account for around 15% of all human emissions, and beef is responsible for 41% of that, according to the UN Food and Agriculture Organization.
If cattle were their own nation, they would be the world’s third-largest emitter of greenhouse gases. Let that sink in.
If you need your meat fix, eat chicken instead. While chicken production does have significant environmental and human costs, pound-for-pound it has about half the carbon footprint of beef.
There’s plenty more you can do – this list is just a start. Keep the pressure on your elected representatives at all levels to take the necessary actions to limit climate change. It’s our responsibility to keep our planet safe for our children and grandchildren.
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