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Amazingly, no prominent national holidays today, so we’ll go right to the humor because we need it.

Priorities:

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Twenty-one important things…

1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.

2. To me, “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it.

3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.

4. It’s the start of a brand new day, and I’m off like a herd of turtles.

5. The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

6. When I say, “The other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.

7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.

8. I had my patience tested. I’m negative.

9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers.

10. If you’re sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, “Did you bring the money?”

11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say “nothing,” it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.

12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.

13. I run like the winded.

14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don’t know whose side I’m on.

15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, “Why, what did you hear?”

16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?

17. I don’t mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.

18. When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “east.”

19. Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That’ll freak you right out.

20. Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life out of nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.

21. My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.

(thanks Billions of Versions of Normal)

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Today is the birthday, in 1811, of Franz Liszt. Here is Georgian pianist Khatia Buniatishvili playing an encore of Hungarian Rhapsody #2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kqtz6a8ikGg

Today is National Heroes’ Day, a public holiday in Jamaica observed on the third Monday in October. The holiday commemorates seven national heroes from Jamaican history.

• Paul Bogle, birth date uncertain – 1865. A Jamaican Baptist deacon and activist. He was a leader of the 1865 Morant Bay protesters, who marched for justice and fair treatment for all the people in Jamaica.
• Sir Alexander Bustmante, 1884-1977. A Jamaican politician and labour leader who in 1962 became the first prime minister of Jamaica.
• Marcus Garvey, 1887-1940, born in St. Ann. A proponent of Black nationalism in Jamaica and especially the United States.
• George William Gordon, 1815-1865. A wealthy Jamaican businessman, magistrate and politician, one of two representatives to the Assembly from St. Thomas-in-the-East Parish.
• Norman Washington Manley, 1893-1969. A Rhodes Scholar, Manley became one of Jamaica’s leading lawyers in the 1920s.
• Nanny. Queen Nanny or Nanny, Jamaican National Hero, was a well-known, 18th-century leader of the Jamaican Maroons.
• Samuel Sharpe, 1801-1832. An enslaved African Jamaican man who was the leader of the widespread 1832 Baptist War slave rebellion in Jamaica.

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Thanks for clearing that up…

Inspiration…

shots heard where???

Ghost Dogs!!

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Today is the birthday, in 1957, of American guitarist, singer, songwriter, arranger and record producer Steve Lukather, who with Toto had the 1983 US No.1 & UK No.3 single ‘Africa’. Lukather has recorded guitar tracks for more than 1,500 albums including the guitar solo for Olivia Newton-John’s 1981 No.1 single ‘Physical’, Michael Jackson’s ‘Beat It’, and was also heavily involved in the recording of virtually all of Jackson’s Thriller album. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vWz9VN40nCA

Today is Independence Day (Azerbaijani: Istiqlaliyyət günü), a national holiday in Azerbaijan, though it is not one of the official non-working days. It may also be known as ‘State Sovereignty Day’. It is celebrated on October 18th, on the anniversary of the day in 1991 when Azerbaijan left the USSR.

This day is essentially the second of two independence days celebrated in Azerbaijan. The first is Republic day which marks the establishment of the Democratic Republic of Azerbaijan on May 28th 1918. This republic only lasted two years before Azerbaijan became part of the Soviet Union.

In 1991, perestroika (social and economic reform) had swept across the Soviet Union leading to many of the countries to declare their independence from the USSR

On August 30th 1991, Azerbaijan made clear its intention to become an independent nation once again when the Declaration on the State Independence of the Republic of Azerbaijan was adopted by Parliament. On October 18th 1991 the constitutional act “On the State Independence of the Republic of Azerbaijan” was approved and adopted by the Supreme Council of the Republic of Azerbaijan.

This made Azerbaijan the sixth country to leave the USSR following Lithuania, Latvia, Estonia, Georgia and Armenia.

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Rebel!

gotcha

All forty!

SINES or something

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Today is the birthday, in 1949, of Joe Egan, Stealers Wheel, (1973 UK No.8 single ‘Stuck In The Middle With You’). The song was used in Quentin Tarantino’s 1992 movie Reservoir Dogs, during the famous “ear” scene. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMAIsqvTh7g

Today is Dessalines Day, a public holiday in Haiti. It commemorates the life of Jean-Jacques Dessalines on the anniversary of his assassination in 1806.

The Haitian Revolution is regarded as the largest and most successful slave rebellion in the Western Hemisphere. The rebellion against French authority began in 1791. Toussaint Louverture emerged as the leader of the revolt against the French. Napoleon sent troops to the colony to restore French authority and Louverture was captured in 1802 and died in a French jail in 1803.

Jean-Jacques Dessalines, a lieutenant to Louverture, then took the leadership of the revolution, defeating French troops at the Battle of Vertières on November 18th 1803. France then withdrew its remaining 7,000 troops from the island.

On January 1st 1804, in the city of Gonaïves, Dessalines officially declared the former colony’s independence as a free republic, renaming it “Haiti” after its indigenous name. He also freed all slaves making Haiti the first country in the Americas to permanently abolish slavery. Though it wasn’t all good news for the former slaves, who were either forced to work on the plantations or join the army.

It was also in 1804 that Dessalines ordered the massacre of all the French people on the island, resulting in the deaths of up to 5,000 people.

Dessalines became the first Emperor of Haiti in October 1804. He was made Emperor for life in 1805, which proved accurate but short-lived as he was assassinated by his political rivals in October 1806.

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For golfers???

bumper fun…

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Today is the birthday, in 1946, of Jim Tucker, rhythm guitarist from the American rock The Turtles who had the US 1967 No.1 single ‘Happy Together’ and the 1967 hit ‘She’d Rather Be with Me’. He died on 12 November 2020 age 74. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mRCe5L1imxg

Today is the Full Moon Day of Thadingyut, a public holiday in Myanmar. The festival marks Buddha’s preaching of Abhidhamma to the gods in Trayastrimsa and the end of the Buddhist period of fasting.

Maya, the mother of Buddha died a week after Buddha was born. She was reborn in the Trayastrimsa Heaven as a god named Santusita. To honour his mother, Buddha ascended to the Trayastrimsa Heaven and preached from the Abhidhamma texts to Santusita for three months.

The full moon of the month Waso (Dhammasetkya Day) marks the ascent by Buddha and the start of the three month period of Buddhist Lent, when the monks retreat to their monasteries. During this time, monks dedicate themselves to meditation and study. During Buddhist Lent, marriages are forbidden and many people give up meat and alcohol. Buddhist lent often coincides with the rainy season in Myanmar.

The full moon in Thadingyut marks Buddha’s return to earth and signifies the end of Buddhist Lent.

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Bada BING!!!

If someone who can’t speak English with no education is able to walk across the border and take your job, well…

Spice up Halloween by giving out chocolate covered brussels sprouts.

If ignorance really was bliss we’d have a lot more really happy people.

Insomnia sufferers. Only 3 more sleeps until Christmas.

“What common English word contains all the vowels in order? I should warn you that the answer is facetious.”

Two doctors and an HMO manager are killed in a train wreck and line up at the Pearly Gates for admission to heaven. Saint Peter asks them to identify themselves.

One doctor steps forward and says, “I was a pediatric spine surgeon. I helped hundreds of kids overcome their deformities.” Saint Peter says, “Enter.”

The other doctor says, “I was a psychiatrist. I helped rehabilitate thousands of people.” Saint Peter nods and invites him into heaven.

The third applicant steps forward and says, “I was an HMO manager. I helped countless people get cost-effective health care.” Saint Peter tells him, “You can come in, too.” As the HMO manager walks by, Saint Peter adds, “But you can only stay for 3 days.” 

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Today is the birthday, in 1943, of Fred Turner, bass, vocals, Bachman Turner Overdrive, (1974 US No.1 & UK No.2 single ‘You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet’). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4cia_v4vxfE