Crabs and Beer!

Thoughts from the depths of the Eastern Shore

can it really be MONDAY?

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to the local super store. Unfortunately, like most men; I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women – she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter, from the local store manager:


Dear Mrs. Harris:Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion, in our store.We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store.

Our complaints against your husband, Mr. Harris, are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras:

1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people’s carts when they weren’t looking.


2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.


3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women’s restroom.


4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, ‘Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away’. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted in a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don’t have a Code 3.


5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway.


6. August 14: Moved a ‘CAUTION – WET FLOOR’ sign to a carpeted area.


7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he’d invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged.


8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, ‘Why can’t you people just leave me alone?’ EMTs were called.


9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.


10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.


11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the ‘Mission Impossible’ theme.


12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his, ‘Madonna Look’ using different sizes of funnels.


13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled ‘PICK ME! PICK ME!’


14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loudspeaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed; ‘OH NO! IT’S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!’


15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where the fitting room was?


16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile; then yelled very loudly, ‘Hey! There’s no toilet paper in here.’ 

Today is the birthday, in 1958, of Shaun Cassidy. He is the half-brother of David Cassidy and had this hit, among others.

Posted by Tom in Humor, Music, sixties and seventies

Minneapolis

A nice flash mob performance of Beethoven’s Ode to Joy.

Posted by Tom in classical, Music

FRIDAYFRIDAYFRIDAYFRIDAY

Location, location…

walmart

Signsssss

ARE YOU OLD?

If you know what this is used for…

If you know what’s under this doll…

If you’ve eaten dinner at a table like this…

If you’ve ever cooked a delicious meal in one of these…

            If you can just HEAR this sound in your head…

If you’ve ever used two keys to run a car…

If you know exactly what song you’d put on if you saw one of these…

If you can think of the exact person that used to smell like these…

If you’ve ever used this tool…

If you can still feel the burn from this…

If you are familiar with where you can find these…

If you can smell the smoke from this…

If you’ve driven in a car that had one of these…

If you know what this tool is used for…

If you know what this is used for…

If you know what this button is used for…

If you know exactly where these things are located…
If you remembered any of thesethen

                Congratulations … you are officially old.

via

Today is the birthday, in 1942, of Gerry Marsden, frontman for Gerry and the Pacemakers.

Posted by Tom in Humor, Music, sixties and seventies

ALHAMISI

in Nairobi

extinguishers

Today is the birthday, in 1930, of Ray Charles, singer, songwriter, pianist and composer. He was born in Albany, Georgia. At age 3 he began losing his sight and was completely blind by age 7, likely due to glaucoma. This song reached number one in 1960 and was the first of his three number one pop hits.

Posted by Tom in Humor, Music, sixties and seventies

MIERCURI

is what they call it in Rumania

gerrymandering?

pigsMISSC

Posters from Scarfolk…

1970s-era poster from an imaginary English town.
1970s-era poster from an imaginary English town.
1970s-era poster from an imaginary English town.
1970s-era poster from an imaginary English town.

Learn about ducks

Today is the birthday, in 1943, of Toni Basil – singer, actress and dancer. She was David Bowie’s choreographer during several tours. Here she sings this hit song:

Posted by Tom in Humor, Music, sixties and seventies