I thought I should share this…
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to the podium.
She said, “I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband Tom had a terrible bicycle wreck, and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him.”
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that Tom must have experienced.
“Tom was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Tom’s scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.”
Again the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Tom.
“Now,” she announced in a quavering voice, “thank the Lord Tom is out of the hospital, and the doctors say that with time his scrotum should recover completely.”
All the men sighed with relief.
The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, “I’m Tom.” The entire congregation held its breath. “I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum.”
Last minute gift idea:
Christmas Songs
In a widely expected outcome, a horrible student was rejected by a college on Monday. The college’s decision to reject the student was unsurprising given his poor performance in such important subjects as science, math, history, and spelling. Although the student was reportedly taking his rejection badly, a college spokesperson said that the news should have come as no surprise. “He was told that he wasn’t getting in more than a month ago,” the spokesperson said. “This was just a formality.” Having failed to get accepted by the college, the student is expected to live at home and take a job in a business started by his dad. The Borowitz Report
Today is the birthday (in 1942) of Paul Butterfield. When I was young the Paul Butterfield Blues Band was one of my favorites; I saw them perform at The Cellar Door in Washington. Here they are in Monterey.
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