Crabs and Beer!

Today is a public holiday in the Bailiwick of Guernsey to mark the visit of King Charles III and Queen Camilla. It is his first visit as King, and first to the bailiwick since 2012. The royal couple is also visiting the Bailiwick of Jersey. Guernsey and Jersey are self-governing dependencies of the British Crown but are not a part of the United Kingdom. The governments of the bailiwicks variously define the the position of the King of England as ‘head of state’ or ‘successor to the Duke of Normandy). The islands were a part of the Duchy of Normandy until 1204.

The King and Queen were presented with various gifts including seven Jersey heifers and locally-laid duck eggs. The duck eggs were an update to an 800-year-old custom of giving two dead ducks on a silver platter to the monarch.

Pamela Bell, La Dame de la Trinité, presented the eggs to the King

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BADA BING!!

Maybe money doesn’t buy happiness, but I’m accepting donations to test that theory.

I have reached an age where my mind says, “I can do that,” but my body says, “Try that and you’ll be sorry.”

If you see a toilet in your dream, do not use it.

From a procrastination standpoint, today has been wildly successful.

A woman tries to cut off her lover’s penis, but she missed and cut his thigh. Charged with misdaweiner.

Every time the cashier says, “Do you want your milk in a bag?”, I say, “No you can leave it in the jug”, no one ever laughs!

I am a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

My “save for later” cart on Amazon is currently up to 1.2 million dollars.

My doctor told me my weight was perfect. I’m just 11 feet too short.

A pastor was giving a children’s sermon on vestments and asked, “Why do you think I wear this collar?” One kid answered, “Because it kills ticks and fleas for 30 days?”

My entire life can be summed up in one sentence…’Well, that didn’t go as fucking planned!’

The internet is fascinating. I can type something and thousands of miles away someone is offended by it. It’s kind of magical.

Welcome to adulthood, where you get irritated when they rearrange the grocery store.

I’m proud to announce that I have completed the 1st item on my bucket list. I have the bucket.

Your secrets are safe with me because there’s a good chance I wasn’t listening.

I just finished 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube off the kitchen floor.

I need to stop talking to myself, I’m a bad influence.

I make bad decisions when I’m drunk but the sober ones haven’t been that great either.

It’s not an empty nest until they get their stuff out of the basement.

They say it’s never too late to start exercising, so I’ll wait until later.

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Better together????

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Today is the birthday, in 1940, of Tony Jackson, bass, vocals from English Merseybeat group The Searchers. Best known for their 1964 UK No.1 & US No.13 single ‘Needles And Pins’. Other hits include a remake of the Drifters’ 1961 hit, ‘Sweets for My Sweet’, ‘Sugar and Spice’ (written by their producer Tony Hatch) and ‘When You Walk in the Room’. Jackson on died 18th August 2003. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ugDXpdjmpgw