Abba

Apr

2022

It’s a showery TUESDAY here.

Today is Tomb Sweeping Day (Qingming Festival) a traditional Chinese festival observed by Han Chinese in many countries. It is a public holiday in Taiwan. Detailed instructions for how to celebrate can be found HERE.

Bada Bing!!

The only thing to fear is fear itself.And stupid. We should be scared shitless of stupid.

Come on in, sorry about the mess. We’re just in the middle of not caring anymore.

European out-of-office message…I’m away camping for the summer. Please call back in September. American out-of-office message…I have left the office for two hours to undergo kidney surgery but you can reach me on my cell at any time.

I threw a boomerang once and it didn’t come back. I live in constant fear.

Crazy times we’re living in. I keep hitting the “escape” key, but I’m still here.

Bacon is 73% fat and very salty. Me too bacon, me too.

My neighbor is in the GUINNESS WORLD RECORDS. He’s had 44 concussions. He lives very close to me. A stone’s throw away, in fact.

A joke my dog told me this morning…What happens when you stop taking your meds? Your dog starts talking to you.

What does a janitor say when he jumps out of the closet? Supplies!

National Library Week

Today is the birthday, in 1950, of Agnetha Faltskog, Swedish vocalist. She scored many hits with the group ABBA. Here is their first big hit which won the Eurovision contest in 1974.

Jan

2022

MONDAY already

Today is Spring Festival Eve in China. Tomorrow is the Lunar New Year in China and many other East Asian Cultures. It is commonly referred to as the Spring Festival.

Savor the moment…

If flight attendants were allowed to say what they really mean... or how they really feel about their crappy jobs.

Homes for sale. The market is hot! Buy now!!

Even superheros are having to tighten their belts.

Norse gods have to take the subway…

On this day in 1976, ABBA knocked Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody from the number one spot with this song. Ironically, Queen’s song contained the line: “mamma mia, mamma mia, mamma mia let me go”.

Dec

2021

THOR’S DAY

Today is Victory Day in Bangladesh. Known as ‘Bijôy Dibôs’ in Bengali, this holiday commemorates the victory of the Allied forces High Command over the Pakistani forces in the Bangladesh Liberation War in 1971. Over three million people died in the nine-month conflict and the President Prime Minister will pay tribute to the martyrs of the Liberation War by placing wreaths at the National Mausoleum at Savar at sunrise.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program…

I mean, it's already listening all the time. Why not?

Today is the birthday, in 1946, of Benny Andersson, Swedish musician and composer, best known for being a part of ABBA.

Apr

2021

Ugh…Monday

Start the week off right…

and stop asking me to fax things…

Groaners

The school phoned me today and said, “Your son’s been telling lies.” I said, “Tell him, he’s damn good at lying. I don’t have any kids”.

Wife: Will you stop yawning when I’m talking to you?Husband: I’m not yawning. I’m trying to say something!

Due to the current economic situation in the world, I’ve started a dating site for chickens. It’s not my full-time job, I’m just doing it… to make hens meet.

I found a book about an amazing basement.It was the best cellar.

God creating ducks…”Waterproof that chicken and give it a kazoo.”

A woman gave birth in her car on the way to the hospital and her husband named the kid Carson.

I know how to increase gas mileage. It’s so simple and easy. Just make the gallon bigger.

Today is the birthday, in 1950, of Agnetha Fältskog, Swedish singer, songwriter, actress and musician. While she had recorded numerous hit songs in Sweden, she is best known as a member of the group, ABBA. She sings lead on this ABBA song.