Today’s holiday, celebrated in parts of India, is Guru Tegh Bahadur’s Martyrdom Day. Guru Tegh Bahadur was the ninth of the ten gurus who founded the Sikh religion. He was beheaded in 1675 by the Mughal emperor. The execution hardened the resolve of Sikhs against Muslim rule and the persecution and helped to make the protection of human rights central to the Sikh identity.
Sentimental…
Statues turning belligerent!
Today is the birthday, in 1955, of Clem Burke, drummer for Blondie through the band’s entire career.
I was born a male and identify as a male.But according to Stouffer’s lasagna, I’m a family of four.
My biology teacher asked what the function of carbohydrates were.Apparently “filling the deep well of sadness inside of me” was incorrect.
Stop buying plastic skeletons for Halloween. It’s terrible for the environment.Locally sourced, all-natural skeletons are much more environmentally friendly.
I wake up every day planning to be productive. Then a voice in my head says, “Haha, good one!”And we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
In Athens, no one gets up before noon.It seems dawn is tough on Greece.
Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 of craft supplies?
In 20 years when the kids ask about the 2020 toilet paper shortage, I’m telling them we had to drag our butts across the lawn. In the snow. Uphill. Both ways. Dodging murder hornets.
Every box of raisins is a tragic tale of grapes that could have been wine.
People say nothing is impossible.But I do nothing every day.
If it ain’t broke, fix it until it is.
SIGNS….
Here’s a little Blondie doing a great cover of a reggae song…
I started a band called “Blanket”.It’s a cover band.
How does a farmer find new cows to buy?He looks through the cattlelog.
British English has only three vowels: A, I, O.They have left E.U.
Therapist: Your wife says you never buy her flowers is that true?Him: To be honest, I never knew she sold flowers.
I just got accepted in a porn movie role.I’m the husband going to work.
My wife said to me, “You’re shagging that girl from Llanfairpwllgwyngyllwyrndrobwyllllantisiliogogogoch, aren’t you?”I said, “How could you say such a thing?”
Hooters is trying to stay afloat during this pandemic so they are starting door to door service thus a name change is in order.They will now be known as Knockers.
Doctors have just discovered another deadly pathogen, they are calling it the Peekaboo Virus.Doctors are sending anyone with Peekaboo, straight to ICU.
Whenever my enemies are badly cut, I never throw salt in their wounds.That would be adding in salt to injury.
What do you call a woman standing in the middle of a tennis court?Annette.
What do you call it when you’re milking a cow, and the milk goes everywhere but in the bucket?Udder chaos.
Is it a solar or lunar eclipse where the sun passes in front of the moon?Neither. That would be an apoca-clipse.
Two men were hunting deep in the woods one late afternoon. As the sun set over the horizon, the two hunters realized they were lost. Finding themselves outside of signal range and miles from civilization, they mulled over their options for rescue.”Oh,” one man perked up, “I remember reading that if you fire three shots in the air, it’s a sign of distress for anyone in the area.”With a nod from his friend, the young man fired three shots into the air. After waiting another twenty minutes and seeing no sign of help, they fired three more times. After waiting another half hour, the two shared a glance of desperation.”I don’t think this is working.””Yeah,” his friend responded, “and we’re running out of arrows.”
Today is the birthday, in 1950, of Chris Stein, co-founder and guitarist of the New Wave band Blondie. Here is one of the many songs he composed along with the lead singer, Debbie Harry. I like this song.
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