Today is Guru Nanak’s birthday, celebrated in India, Pakistan, Nepal and other places. This holiday is one of the most significant festivals of the Sikh community and commemorates Guru Nanak Sahib who was the founder of Sikhism and the first Sikh Guru.
BADA BING!
Was lying in bed with my wife and I said, “I’m going to make you the happiest woman in the world.” She said, “I’ll miss you.”
I’ve hardly done anything on my bucket list. Friend: Just change the B to an F and you’ll feel much better about it.
I paid for the whole speedometer I’m going to use the whole speedometer.
I hate it when TV shows say they contain “adult situations” but then don’t show anyone going to work, paying their bills, or cleaning up after the kids.
Last night, I thought my wife was either crazy or drunk or having a stroke. Then I realized she was quoting something Hershel Walker said, verbatim.
Me: Why do you keep an empty milk bottle in the fridge? Him: In case someone wants black coffee.
I want to lose weight but I don’t want to get caught up in one of those “eat right and exercise” scams.
Woman fortune teller: Your husband will meet a violent end. Woman: Will I be convicted?
SIGNZ
Today is the birthday, in 1949, of Bonnie Raitt, Blues singer songwriter, slide guitarist, (1994 UK No.31 single ‘You’, 1990 US No.1 album ‘Nick Of Time’).
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