daily humor

Wednesday…wicked or wonderful???

Bada Bing!

Someone posted they had just baked some synonym buns. I replied, you mean just like the ones grammer used to make?

I was at the post office when I saw someone shouting into an envelope. I asked, “What are you doing?” They replied, “Sending a voice mail.”

If you spell the words “Absolutely Nothing” backward, you get “Gnihton Yletulosba,” which ironically means…Absolutely nothing.

What is it about the gentle beeping of a carbon monoxide detector that is so relaxing?

I always take the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector. All that beeping gives me a headache.

Whose cruel idea was it for the word ‘lisp’ to have an ‘s’ in it?

Two women were on a bus fighting over the last seat.The bus driver hollered, “Ugly one gets the seat!”Both women stood the rest of the ride.

My wife’s birthday is tomorrow.She’s been leaving jewelry catalogs all over the house.So I bought her a magazine rack.

If dentists make all their money from bad teeth…Why should we use toothpaste that 8 out of 10 dentists recommend?

Need a little beauty in your life? Watch and listen to this piece from La Boheme sung by Anna Netrebko.

Posted by Tom in Humor, opera

Monday….sigh…

May as well have the chicken…

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Today is the birthday, in 1919, of Pete Seeger, folk singer and social activist. He was a strong union supporter and anti-war activist. His group, The Weavers, was blacklisted during the McCarthy era. He re-emerged in the sixties as a prominent singer of music in support of international disarmament, civil rights and environmental causes. We miss him.

Posted by Tom in folk, Humor, Music

It’s FRIDAY!!!

Waiting to start the weekend

Rare photo of 1970’s remote control

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Today is the birthday, in 1943, of Bobby Vee, teen idol in the early 1960s.

Posted by Tom in Humor, sixties and seventies

and WEDNESDAY rolls around

Brilliant passive-aggressive sign.
Brilliant passive-aggressive sign.
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On this day in 1979, Blondie hit number one with ‘Heart of Glass’. It was the first of four number one hits for the group.

Posted by Tom in Humor, Music, sixties and seventies

Tuesday, Tuesday…

Virus Consulting

The transition from rural to suburban…

Chicken stroller.

Teach your kids!

Bada Bing!

What is the first prize in a competition to lose muscle mass? A trophy.

Theory is when you know everything but nothing works.Practice is when everything works but no one knows why.In our lab, theory and practice are combined,nothing works and no one knows why.

If Watson isn’t the most famous doctor, then Who is.

How to cook crack and clean a crab.Step one: Use commas.

Back in my day, we didn’t have cup holders in our cars.We had to hold our beer between our legs to drive.

I haven’t shoveled the driveway once this year, since I got the flame thrower.

A pastor was giving a children’s sermon and asked: Why do you think I wear this collar?One kid answered: Because it kills ticks and fleas for up to 30 days?

I don’t want to brag or make anyone jealous, but I can still fit into the socks I wore in high school.

One day Youtube, Twitter, and Facebook will join and be called Youtwitface.

It’s sad that even your very best homework efforts gets your kid detention.

I need a new friend. The last one escaped.

Her: Ohhhh…. undress me with your words.Him: There’s a spider in your bra.

If you’re being chased by a pack of taxidermists, do not play dead.

Other than if I slowed my breathing and stopped blinking, I’m not sure if it would be possible for me to be any lazier than I’ve been today.

I accidentally called Alexa “Siri”. Now the thermostat is set to 90 degrees and I can’t unlock my doors or open my windows.

The first rule of the Condescending Club is really kind of complex and I don’t think you’d understand it even if I explained it to you.

Why it takes me so long to do this every morning…

I didn’t find any good birthday’s today, so here’s another song from the sixties….

Posted by Tom