daily humor

09
Jul
2024

So…TUESDAY?

Today is Independence Day (Día de la Independencia) in Argentina. This national public holiday marks Argentina’s independence from Spain which was declared on 9 July 1816.

After European explorers arrived in the region in the early part of the sixteenth century, Spain quickly established a permanent colony on the site of modern-day Buenos Aires in 1580.

During the early part of its history, Argentina was largely a country of Spanish immigrants and their descendants (known as creoles). The population was split between those who lived in Buenos Aires and other cities, with others living on the pampas as gauchos.

Descendants of African slaves were also present in significant numbers. The Indigenous peoples of the region inhabited much of the rest of Argentina.

In 1806 and 1807 the British Empire launched two invasions of Buenos Aires but were repelled on both occasions by the Creole population. This ability to lead a military campaign against foreign forces bolstered the idea that they could win a war for independence.

On 28 May 1810, when rumors about the overthrow of King Ferdinand VII by Napoleon proved to be true, the citizens of Buenos Aires took advantage of the situation and created their First Government Junta. Six years later, delegates from the United Provinces of South America declared themselves independent from Spain on 9 July 1816.

Alaskan Restaurant…

Bada Bing!!

Due to personal reasons, I am going to continue posting jokes instead of seeking professional help.

“Being better than Trump cannot be the standard because Donald Trump is the absence of standards.”

If I walk into your business, and I hear Fox News, I’m walking right back out.

The library moved Orwell’s 1984 to nonfiction.

I just came across my husband’s Tinder profile, and I am so angry about his lies. He is not “fun to be around!”

I always get so frustrated when I put clothes away in my closet. I think I have hanger management issues.

I never finish anything. I have a black belt in Partial Arts.

I asked everyone what IDK stands for and nobody knows.

On this day in 1983, The Police started an eight week run at No.1 on the US singles chart with ‘Every Breath You Take’ also No.1 in the UK. Taken from the bands album Synchronicity, Sting won Song of the Year and The Police won Best Pop Performance for the song at the 1984 Grammy Awards. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMOGaugKpzs

Posted by Tom in eighties music, Humor, Music
08
Jul
2024

Good grief, it’s MONDAY

Today Solomon Islands celebrates it’s independence day. This holiday is the National Day of the country and marks independence from Britain on July 7 in 1978.

Lying to the east of Papua New Guinea, the first European to visit the islands in the archipelago was the Spanish navigator Álvaro de Mendaña in February 1568.

When Mendaña arrived, he thought the islands were the location of the fabled biblical city of Ophir. In Genesis, Ophir is said to be a place that was teeming with gold and contributed to the wealth of King Solomon, hence Mendaña called the islands, Islas Salomón (“Solomon Islands”). The claims of riches, unfortunately, proved to be fake news.

In June 1893, Captain Gibson R.N., of HMS Curacoa, declared the southern Solomon Islands a British protectorate in response to the German annexation of others. By 1900 Germany agreed to cede their interests to Britain and the Solomons came entirely under British rule.

The official name was changed from the British Solomon Islands Protectorate to the Solomon Islands in 1975, and self-government was achieved the following year.

Independence was granted on July 7th 1978, and Sir Peter Kenilorea appointed to be the country’s first Prime Minister. Queen Elizabeth II remained the monarch with the Solomon Islands becoming a constitutional monarchy and a member of the Commonwealth.

The can sing!

Wait a minute. Which one is a cubit and which is a centimeter?

Today is the birthday, in 1944, of Jaimoe Johanson, American drummer and percussionist, and one of the founding members of The Allman Brothers Band who released the classic album Eat a Peach in 1972 and had the 1973 US No.12 single ‘Ramblin Man’. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wa4DCp6cl2U

Posted by Tom in Humor, Music, sixties and seventies
05
Jul
2024

from across the sea, FRIDAY arrives

Today is Independence Day, a public holiday in Cape Verde. This is the National Day of Cape Verde and commemorates the country’s independence from Portugal on this day in 1975.

Cape Verde is an island country consisting of 10 volcanic islands in the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Northwest Africa. The islands were uninhabited when they were discovered by Portuguese navigators in the middle of the 15th century. Portuguese settlers arrived in 1462, establishing the first permanent European settlement in the tropics. The islands benefited from their position, first as a stopping off point for the Atlantic slave trade and then as a location for re-supplying ships bound for the Americas.

Cape Verdeans are descendants of Africans (free or enslaved) and Europeans of various origins. There are also Cape Verdeans who have Jewish ancestors from North Africa, mainly on the islands of Boa Vista, Santiago and Santo Antão. A large part of Cape Verdeans emigrated abroad, mainly to the United States, Portugal and France, so that there are more Cape Verdeans residing abroad than at home.

The call for nationalism had grown louder after the end of the second world war. So much so that in 1951, Portugal changed Cape Verde’s status from a colony to an overseas province to try and reduce the increasing disenfranchisement with colonial rule.

The nationalist movement in Cape Verde was entwined with the other Portuguese territory in the area, Portuguese Guinea. In 1956, Amílcar Cabral, a Guinean organised the African Party for the Independence of Guinea and Cape Verde (PAIGC). The aims of the PAIGC were to improve the economic, social and political conditions in Cape Verde and Portuguese Guinea and formed the basis of the two nations’ independence movements. These demands erupted into a war on the African mainland, with Portuguese Guinea declaring independence in 1973.

The April 1974 revolution in Portugal led to change of approach to its overseas territories, and in 1974 the PAIGC and Portugal signed an agreement providing for a transitional government composed of Portuguese and Cape Verdeans. On June 30th 1975, Cape Verdeans elected a National Assembly which received the instruments of independence from Portugal on July 5th 1975.

Today is the birthday, in 1943, of Canadian musician, songwriter, film composer, producer, actor, Robbie Robertson. He joined The Hawks in 1962 who became known as The Band. Bob Dylan and the Hawks toured the United States throughout 1965 and a world tour the following year. As a songwriter, Robertson is credited for writing ‘The Weight’, ‘The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down’, ‘Up on Cripple Creek’, ‘Broken Arrow’ and ‘Somewhere Down the Crazy River’. Robertson died in Los Angeles on 9 August 2023, at the age of 80, after a year-long battle with prostate cancer. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jREUrbGGrgM

Posted by Tom in eighties music, Humor, Music
02
Jul
2024

TOOT TOOT TUESDAY

Today is Unity Day, a public holiday in Zambia. The day always forms part of a two-day break as Unity Day always take place on the day after Heroes’ Day. Unity Day is intended to help foster solidarity between the diverse groups that make up the country.

The boundaries of most African nations were not based on communities of interest of ethnic/cultural similarities. Instead they were set by European colonial powers looking at maps in Berlin or elsewhere. This has created great difficulties for African nations as they try to weld together disparate groups into a single nation.

Zambia was no exception, and its population contains over 70 ethnic groups, with nine major groups. The population speaks over 72 local languages/dialects.

When the country gained its independence from Britain in 1964, this brought the differences between these ethnic groups to the fore. While Zambia has enjoyed a stable political environment since independence, it has been affected by instability in neighboring countries, with some ethnic groups feeling an affinity across ethnic rather than national lines.

To help create a sense of Zambian identity, Unity Day was established by Kenneth Kaunda, the first President of Zambia. It aims at fostering solidarity between the various ethnolinguistic groups and maintaining the spirit of national unity. The official slogan of Zambian Unity Day is the country’s motto “One Zambia, One Nation”.

Geography is tough

BADA BING!!!!

Maybe the 10 Commandments should be posted in the RNC Headquarters instead of public schools.

Posting The Ten Commandments in Louisiana public schools should open the doors for also posting The Five Pillars of Islam, The Five Precepts of Buddhism, and The 7 Tenets of Satanism.

I see your 10 commandments and raise you 34 convictions.

If your state ranks 47th in education, maybe you should require schools to post the ABCs instead of the Ten Commandments.

A friend has inspired me to suggest that we organize a free trip for Clarence Thomas this summer to Haiti, where he can experience real life without an administrative state, and where everyone has a gun with a bump stock.

Nobody’s (more stubborn) smarter than an Android person who won’t switch to an iPhone.

I keep waiting for someone to tell me, “Yeah, I was a fruit picker until those illegals showed up.”

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same!

Finally, my bills are washed, laundry is paid, clothes are baking, and dinner is in the dryer. I got this!

Her: If you cut off my reproductive choice can I cut yours off?

Her: I’m in a really bad place in my life right now. Him: Louisiana?

Conversation tip: Ask people questions that give them an opportunity to talk about themselves. Like… What the hell is wrong with you?

My neighbor couldn’t afford his water bill so I got him a get well soon card.

I just bought a sweet car online. It was previously owned by Neil Diamond.

Wouldn’t be ironic if Popeye’s chicken was cooked in Olive Oil?

When I was a kid I would not have guessed the world would turn out to be as dumb as it is.

No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch.

Did you know 14 muscles are activated when opening a bottle of wine? Fitness is my passion.

Today is the birthday, in 1952, of Johnny Colla, guitar, sax, from Huey Lewis and the News who had the 1985 UK No.11 & US No.1 single ‘The Power Of Love’. Their third, and best-selling, album was the 1983 Sports, and they contributed to the soundtrack of the 1985 feature film Back to the Future. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wBl2QGAIx1s (note: music starts at about 2:10)

Posted by Tom in eighties music, Humor, Music
01
Jul
2024

Happy MONDAY, girls and boys

Today is Sir Seretse Khama Day – a public holiday in Botwsana. This holiday commemorates the first President of Botswana on the anniversary of his birth on this day in 1921.

eretse Khama was born on July 1st 1921 at Serowe, the Protectorate of Bechuanaland (now Botswana).  Seretse Khama was the grandson and heir of King Khama III, who died in 1923. The Bangwato family of which Seretse Khama was the heir were hereditary rulers of the Protectorate. In 1925 Seretse Khama was made King, his uncle acting as regent.

Khama was training as a barrister in London after the Second World War, where he met and married Ruth Williams, a white English commoner. The story of Seretse Khama and Ruth Williams was depicted in the 2016 film, ‘A United Kingdom’. His marriage caused great difficulties for him at home and he was exiled in 1951. 

The apartheid government of South Africa put pressure on Britain to remove Khama’s chieftainship. A judicial inquiry declared him to be perfectly fit for the job, but this was hushed up to appease the South Africans.

Kahama returned to Bechuanaland in 1956 as a private citizen. Free to enter politics, he formed the Bechuanaland Democratic Party, won the elections and led the way to independence, becoming his country’s first President. He remained in the post until his death, aged only 59, in 1980. He created a multiracial democratic society and is considered as one of the great successes of this era of African politics.

Replaced the pole but kept woodpecker’s home

something wrong here…

Today is the birthday, in 1945, of Deborah Harry, American singer, songwriter, and actress with Blondie who scored five UK No.1 singles including the 1979 UK & US No.1 single ‘Heart Of Glass’ and the 1978 world-wide No.1 album Parallel Lines. As a solo artists she scored the 1986 UK No. 8 single ‘French Kissing In The USA’. A former Playboy Bunny, her acting career spans over thirty film roles and numerous television appearances. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGU_4-5RaxU

Posted by Tom in Humor, Music, sixties and seventies