Lady Gaga

THUUUURRRRRSSSSDAY

I couldn’t find any interesting international holidays today but I realized that I missed the most important holiday of all a few days ago – back on March 25th – and that, of course, is MARYLAND DAY!

Maryland Day commemorates March 25, 1634. On that day, settlers who had recently disembarked from two small sailing ships – the Ark and the Dove – on St. Clement’s Island, in what is now St. Mary’s County, Maryland, celebrated the official founding of the colony of Maryland (now the most important state in the USA).

Departing on November 22, 1633, these travelers (about 140 in number) set off from Cowes on the English Isle of Wight. Three days later a severe storm tossed them relentlessly about at sea. The morning after, the Dove (the smaller ship) could not be seen. The Ark continued its journey, following the European coast south to the Fortunate (now Canary) Islands. From the Canaries, the Ark sailed due west across the Atlantic, touching land at the island of Barbados in the West Indies on January 3, 1633/4. There, the ship’s weary travelers stayed three weeks replenishing provisions, and there the Dove reappeared, having weathered the Atlantic voyage alone. At other Caribbean isles they also landed, and then sailed north. They reached Virginia on February 27th, gathered more supplies, and navigated Chesapeake Bay north to the mouth of the Potomac by March 3rd.

As these voyagers approached southern Maryland shores in March 1634, their ships alarmed Native Americans, who sent alerts with huge signal fires. To meet the Conoy Indian chief and calm Indian fears, Leonard Calvert on the Dove sailed to Piscataway. There, they negotiated a peaceable accord, and then Calvert sailed back down the Potomac off present-day St. Mary’s County. On March 25th, the English settlers held a day of thanksgiving for their safe voyage end, and we continue to commemorate it as Maryland Day.


SIGNZ


Today is the birthday, in 1986, of Lady Gaga, (Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta) American singer, songwriter. 2008 single US & UK No.1 single ‘Just Dance’, 2008 single ‘Poker Face’, reached No.1 in twenty countries. In 2012, Gaga was ranked at No.4 on Billboard’s list of top moneymakers of 2011, grossing more than 25 million dollars. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bESGLojNYSo

Posted by Tom in Humor, Music

toot toot TUESDAY

We have to make choices in life

Translation…

Replacing your potato chips with grapefruit as a snack you can lose up to 90% of what little joy you still have left in your life.

BADA BING!

An engineer and an anti-vaxxer walk up to a bridge. The bridge is the only crossing over a notoriously crocodile-infested river, so the two prepare to cross. Just before they set foot on the bridge the anti-vaxxer halts the engineer. “How safe is it to cross this bridge exactly?” he asks. “99.97%,” the engineer replies confidently. The anti-vaxxer thinks for a moment before turning around. “Guess I’m swimming then.”

How do you properly milk a flock of sheep? Tell them the election was stolen, then ask for money.

A Burglar broke into our house last night. I didn’t shoot him. I just put the red laser dot on his forehead. Our three cats did the rest.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

Our government struggles with the decision of whether to cripple an entire generation with debt or tax 3 billionaires a bit more.

Today my daughter called me ‘Birth Person’.I replied, “Yes, Financial Drain?”.

Them: I’d take a bullet for my country.Me: You won’t even take a needle for your neighbors. Sit down and shut up.

I just saw on the news that a man has discovered how to do origami backward!More on this story as it unfolds.

No man is an island. Although my friend Archie Pelago comes close.

If anybody has a good fish pun…Let minnow.

I can’t get over the fact that the word ‘gullible’ upside down looks like a cat.

Broke a light bulb today. So does that mean I will have seven years of bad ideas?

Walmart is opening dental offices in some of its stores. There will be an express lane for people with 12 teeth or less.

When my kid is upset I let her color my tattoo! She just needs a shoulder to Crayon.

What if UFOs are just billionaires from other planets?

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Today is the birthday, in 1926, of Tony Bennett (Anthony Dominick Benedetto). He served as an infantryman in World War II in the European Theater and, after his discharge in 1946, he studied at the American Theater Wing under the GI Bill. After singing with Pearl Bailey at several NY clubs, he was signed to the Columbia Record label by Mitch Miller. He had a number one hit – Because of You – in 1951. He has had an incredibly long and successful career. He recorded this song with Lady Gaga in 2011.

Posted by Tom in Humor, Music