Month: June 2021

Stand up for your rights!

Bada Bing!

Bruce Lee had a vegan brother. Broco Lee.

This morning at about 7:45, I was in a long line at a grocery store that opens at 8:00 for senior citizens only.A young man came from the parking lot and tried to cut in at the front of the line, but an old lady beat him back into the parking lot with her cane.He returned and tried to cut in again but an old man punched him in the gut, then kicked him to the ground, and rolled him away.As he approached the line for the third time he said, “Look, if you don’t let me unlock the damn door you’re never going to get in there!”

I just told my suitcases we aren’t going on vacation this year.Now I’m dealing with emotional baggage.

For his son’s birthday, Dad buys him a bass guitar and pays for 5 lessons.After the first lesson, the boy gets home and Dad asks “What did you learn today?””I learned the first 5 notes on the E string.” the son says proudly.After the second lesson, the dad asks “What did you learn this time?””I learned the first 5 notes on the A string.” the boy says.After the third lesson, the Dad waits at home for what seems like hours. Around 2am, the son finally comes home, smelling of whiskey and cigarettes.”Where the hell have you been?” Dad demands.”Sorry dad, I had a gig!”

To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner.They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don’t live in a swing state.

Which is the most desired summer body this year?The antibody.

Is it okay to start drinking when the kids get to school?Or does that make me a bad teacher?

Today is the birthday, in 1941, of William Guest who was one of The Pips. Here they are with Gladys Knight.