Humor

21
Dec
2021

smells like TUESDAY

São Tomé Day is a public holiday in the Democratic Republic of São Tomé and Príncipe on December 21st each year. This holiday commemorates the arrival of the first Europeans to the island of São Tomé on this day in 1471. São Tomé is Portuguese for Saint Thomas, whose feast day is December 21st. Both islands were uninhabited when the Portuguese arrived but they soon enslaved Africans from the mainland to cultivate sugar. São Tomé and Príncipe gained its independence from Portugal on July 21st 1975, making it the second-smallest country in Africa. The smallest is another island nation on the other side of the continent – Seychelles.

More art…

Bada Bing!

I can’t believe it’s Omicron season already. I still have my Delta decorations up.

Her: You spent our entire savings on dogs?! Him: They’re golden retrievers, Karen. They retrieve gold. I did it for us!

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet here you are.

Shipping problems have really hit the music industry. There are 100,000 Otis Redding albums just sittin’ on the dock of the bay.

I’ve been hiding from exercise. I’m in the fitness protection program.

Nurse: What happened to your fingers? Me: You know those chefs who cut up vegetables real fast? Nurse: Yes? Me: I can’t do that.

Of all the things I learned in grade school, trying to avoid cooties was the last thing I expected to use.

One minute you’re young and fun, and the next, you’re turning down the radio in your car so you can see better.

Marjorie Taylor Greene is what happens when the ventriloquist dies but the dummy keeps talking.

It’s amazing how removing letters from something changes things so fast. For instance, if you remove enough letters from ‘mailbox’ you get ‘felony’.

What do premature ejaculators and hide and seek have in common? Ready or not, here I come.

I think Christmas should be moved to January.The stores are less crowded and everything is on sale.

Today is the birthday, in 1946, of Carl Wilson. He was the younger brother of Brian and Dennis Wilson and one of the founders of The Beach Boys. He was the lead guitarist for most of their music and lead vocalist on several, including this one.

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Posted by Tom in Humor, Music, sixties and seventies
20
Dec
2021

Could this be MONDAY?

Today is Abolition of Slavery Day in Reunion. When the French National Convention voted to abolish slavery in 1794, it was rejected by Reunion and by Île de France (Mauritius) and a military force sent by France to enforce the abolition was defeated. During the Napoleonic Wars, both islands were captured by the British and Reunion was returned to France after the war. Finally, on December 20, 1848, slavery was finally abolished and the day is celebrated as a national holiday every December 20.

Back to our regularly scheduled program…

Location, location, location

womensprison
wifeanswers
Finally, an honest answer to this overused and tired question employees love to ask!

I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven.


I asked them, “If I sold my house and my car, had a big estate sale, and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?”


“NO!” the children answered.


“If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?”


Again, the answer was ‘No!’By now I was starting to smile.


“Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweets to all the children and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?”


Again, they all answered ‘No!’


I was just bursting with pride for them. I continued, “Then how can I get into heaven?”


A six-year-old boy shouted,”Ye got tae be fookin’ dead”.


Kinda brings a wee tear tae yir eye…

On this day in 1973, Bobby Darin died – age 37. He was a great performer. He had more than 20 hits in the Top 40 including this one which was originally written by Kurt Weill with lyrics by Bertold Brecht for their 1928 musical, The Threepenny Opera. It was translated into English by Mark Blitzstein for his off-broadway production of the musical. It was recorded by Louis Armstrong and, while he was recording it, Weill’s widow, Lotte Lenya, was in the studio. Armstrong spontaneously added her name to the lyrics and it stuck and was used by Darin.

Posted by Tom in Humor, Music, sixties and seventies
17
Dec
2021

fridayFRIDAYfridayFRIDAYfriday

Today is National Day in Bhutan. It marks the day in 1907 when, after a period of strife, Ugyen Wangchuk, Ponlop of Tongsa, was inaugurated as king. The Wangchucks continue to rule Bhutan.

Today is the birthday, in 1947, of Jim Hodder. He played drums with Steely Dan and was the drummer on Linda Rondstadt’s hit, You’re No Good.

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Posted by Tom in Humor, Music, sixties and seventies
16
Dec
2021

THOR’S DAY

Today is Victory Day in Bangladesh. Known as ‘Bijôy Dibôs’ in Bengali, this holiday commemorates the victory of the Allied forces High Command over the Pakistani forces in the Bangladesh Liberation War in 1971. Over three million people died in the nine-month conflict and the President Prime Minister will pay tribute to the martyrs of the Liberation War by placing wreaths at the National Mausoleum at Savar at sunrise.

Now back to our regularly scheduled program…

Notifications

Today is the birthday, in 1946, of Benny Andersson, Swedish musician and composer, best known for being a part of ABBA.

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Posted by Tom in Humor, Music, sixties and seventies
15
Dec
2021

WEDNESDESDAY

Today is Alderney Homecoming Day. It marks the day in 1945 when residents of Alderney returned home after being evacuated during World War II. The island or Alderney was occupied by German forces for five years during the war.

wetlands

Messiah Complex Disorder

Thanks, Bluebird…

Good comebacks

Today is the birthday, in 1942, of Dave Clark. Clark was the leader, drummer and manager of the beat group the Dave Clark Five, the first British Invasion band to follow the Beatles to the US in 1964.

Posted by Tom in Humor, Music, sixties and seventies