Day of Tues

Today is Martyrs Day in Madagascar. Also known as Commemoration Day or Insurrection Day, this holiday memorializes the thousands who died in the Revolt of 1947 against the French occupation.

Quite the woman!

Bada Bing!

I watch so many crime shows, when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

WW These aren’t Weight Watcher pills. You’ve been reading them upside down.

I named my new pet llama Dolly.

I haven’t gotten anything done today. I’ve been in the produce department trying to open this stupid plastic bag.

Is it OK to pull the bag of wine out of the box and stab a straw in it like it’s a giant adult Capri Sun? Asking for a friend.

A man was being tailgated by a stressed out woman on a busy street. Suddenly, the light turned yellow just in front of him. He did the right thing, stopping at the crosswalk. 

The tailgating woman hit the roof, and the horn, screaming as she missed her chance to get through the intersection. As she was still in mid-rant, she heard a tap on her window and looked up into the face of a police officer. He took her to the police station where she was placed in a holding cell.

After a couple of hours, the policeman opened the cell door and said, “I’m very sorry for this mistake. You see, I pulled up behind your car while you were blowing your horn, flipping off the guy in front of you, and cussing a blue streak at him. I noticed the ‘What Would Jesus Do?’ bumper sticker, the ‘Follow Me to Sunday School’ bumper sticker, and the chrome-plated Christian fish emblem on the trunk. Naturally, I assumed you had stolen the car!”

Why buy it for $7 when you can make it yourself with $92 of craft supplies?

If you see me talking to myself just move along. I’m self-employed and I’m having a staff meeting.

Extroverts: I haven’t left the house in 3 days. Introverts: You gotta bump that number up. That’s a rookie number.

Just bought a personalized license plate… BAA BAA. For my black jeep.

Today is the birthday, in 1940, of the amazing Astrud Gilberto. She was born in Bahia, Brazil and raised in Rio de Janeiro. She gained international attention in 1963 with her recording of ‘Girl from Ipanema’ which won a Grammy for song of the year. She recorded two tracks on the album ‘Getz/Gilberto’ which featured Stan Getz and her husband, João Gilberto along with Antônio Carlos Jobim. These two tracks were her very first professional recordings and she was paid the standard session fee of $120.