Definitely TUESDAY

Maybe all of you need a therapist…or two.

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Bada Boom!

Right now I’m having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

The other day I yelled into a colander and strained my voice. 

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up.

If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

First rule of the thesaurus club:You don’t talk, discuss, deliberate, converse. speak, chat, confer, gab, or gossip about thesaurus club.

According to the BMI chart, I’m too short.

Is there illegal-sized paper?

You just don’t see enough people being taken away in straight jackets anymore.

Silence is golden…Unless you have children…Then, silence is suspicious.

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No interesting birthdays today so here’s this!