Do your TUESDAY dance!

Today is Reunification Day in Vietnam. Known as ‘Ngày Thống nhất’ in Vietnamese, it is also known as Victory Day or Liberation Day. It marks the fall of the Saigon government on April 30th 1975 when Viet Cong and North Vietnamese troops captured Saigon (now Ho Chi Minh City).

This brought the Vietnam war to an end and began the process of unification of the Democratic Republic of Vietnam (North) in the North and the Republic of Vietnam (South). Unification of the two countries finally happened on July 2nd 1976, when the Socialist Republic of Vietnam was born.

Bada Bing!!

My friend went skydiving wearing a regular backpack instead of a parachute. He won’t make that mistake again.

Met this girl online yesterday. She’s so into me. She wants to know the name of my first pet, my mom’s maiden name, and where I was born.

I’m just laying here in bed, listening to the Doors and thinking to myself I really should oil those hinges.

My neighbor just yelled at her kids so loud that even I brushed my teeth and went to bed.

I’ve nearly finished my diploma in sandwich making. I’ve got my final eggs ham tomorrow.

I went to a costume party and the host immediately started to pick on me. “What’s your costume?” he asked. “A harp.” “You’re too small to be a harp,” he told me. I was indignant. “Are you calling me a lyre?”

I was at the same party! Saw a bloke wearing a bandana with a lady strapped to his back. He said he was a ninja turtle. ‘What’s the lady doing on your back?’ I asked. ‘It’s Michelle’ he replied.

I asked a magic 8-ball if I would ever get better in social situations. Not only did it not answer me, but I got yelled at and hit with a pool stick.

Ejaculate – What a Yorkshire person says to Jack when he’s not on time.