KESKIVIIKKO

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Proofreading is for the weak…

Gazpacho, my soup is cold!
Suspect is dancing naked through downtown. Copy that. I can try but I'm not much of a dancer.

Bada Bing!

Do you suppose the run on Ivermectin has been caused by Republicans who have finally decided to get serious about global worming?

In retrospect, hiding all the microchips in Horse Dewormer was a stroke of genius.

The spouse and I took up woodworking.A friend said he didn’t know we were carpenters.I said, “We’ve only just begun”.

When I was in school, I had a second-hand calculator that had no multiplication button.I tell you, times were hard back then.

Do you remember, before the internet, that it was thought that the cause of collective stupidity was the lack of access to information?Well, it wasn’t that!

Due to the internet, stupidity has just gone public.

When people want to be stupid they always found a way to be stupid, Internet or not.

How many terrorists are there in Afghanistan now? We don’t know because we can’t count them. There’s a tally ban.

I’m not sure how many cookies it takes to be happy but so far it’s not 27.

The Roomba vacuum cleaner just beat me to a piece of popcorn I dropped on the floor, This is how the war against the machines begins.

A new scientific study claims that fertility is hereditary. If your parents didn’t have any children, chances are you won’t either.

I went to an antique auction and people started bidding on me.

A newly married man asked his wife, “Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?”“Honey,” his wife replied, “I’d have married you, no matter who left you a fortune.”

I came home tonight to find out someone had broken into my home.Seems the only things that were taken were light bulbs. I was delighted.

Today is the birthday, in 1932 in Winchester, Virginia, of Virginia Patterson Hensley, also known as ‘Ginny’. She was one of the most influential vocalists of the 20th century and one of the first country music artists to successfully cross over into pop music under her stage name – Patsy Cline.