Meanwhile, in the Senate…
All this nasty stuff….
Happy FRIDAY!
Sometimes we forget all the ‘One Hit Wonders’. Here’s one I found.
30
Jul
2021
29
Jul
2021
The first THURSDAY after yesterday
Signsssss
Buggy
An old hillbilly farmer had a wife who nagged him unmercifully.
From morning til night (and sometimes later), she was always complaining about something.
The only time he got any relief was when he was out plowing with his old mule. He tried to plow a lot.
One day, when he was out plowing, his wife brought him lunch in the field.
He drove the old mule into the shade, sat down on a stump, and began to eat his lunch.
Immediately, his wife began pestering him. Complain, nag, nag; it just went on and on.
All of a sudden, the old mule lashed out with both hind feet; caught her smack in the back of the head. Killed her dead on the spot.
At the funeral several days later, the minister noticed something rather odd. When a woman mourner would approach the old farmer, he would listen for a minute, then nod his head in agreement; but when a man mourner approached him, he would listen for a minute, then shake his head in disagreement.
This was so consistent, the minister decided to ask the old farmer about it. So after the funeral, the minister spoke to the old farmer, and asked him why he nodded his head and agreed with the women, but always shook his head and disagreed with all the men.
The old farmer said, “Well, the women would come up and say something about how nice my wife looked, or how pretty her dress was, so I’d nod my head in agreement.”
“And what about the men?” the minister asked. “They wanted to know if the mule was for sale.”
Today is the birthday, in 1953 in Asbury Park New Jersey, of Patti Scialfa, singer and songwriter. She worked with the Rolling Stones and Keith Richards on the Talk is Cheap album. In 1984 she joined the E Street Band a few days before the opening of their Born To Run tour. In 1991 she married Bruce Springsteen. There are not a lot of videos of the two of them playing together, but I found this one recorded in Dublin with The Sessions band.
28
Jul
2021
and WEDNESDAY is here…
27
Jul
2021
TUESDAY on my mind
Bada Bing!
Officer: “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?”Soldier: “Sure, buddy.”Officer: “That’s no way to address an officer! Now, let’s try it again!”Officer: “Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?”Soldier: “No, SIR!”
It’s the 1700’s. Two men are standing back to back with their single-shot pistols at the ready.First man, “Why are we doing this?”Second man, “Because you dishonored me. And also because I hate your stupid pun jokes!”First man, “I see. So it’s a duel purpose.”
As a kid, did you ever knock on people’s doors and run away before they could answer? Well, guess what, UPS is hiring.
Rage Against the Machine never specified what type of machine they were furious with but I suspect it was probably a printer.
If any of you non-rich people want to go to space for 10 minutes, I know a good brownie recipe.
I’m good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.
So, besides Mick Jagger, yesterday was also the birthday, in 1941, of Darlene Love. She sang with The Crystals. Here she is!
26
Jul
2021
Ugh. Must be MONDAY!!!
Have something to eat
Try some yoga
So….
The owner of a seafood restaurant sends one of his sons undercover to his rival's restaurant. The dad tells him to get a job as a cook and figure out the recipe for his rival's famous clam chowder. The first day, the son comes home with a basic list of ingredients that the rival uses. They try making it, but it doesn't turn out the same. The dad sends him back. The second day, the son comes home having watched the rival chef prepare the chowder. They try again to make it, and it's close, but the consistency is off. "It's too watery!" said the dad. "It needs to be thicker!" They try to figure out what they're doing wrong, and the son realizes that he was distracted for a minute while the chef did something. "He must have added a secret ingredient, one not on the list, while you looked away!" concludes the dad. He sends his son back for a third day, this time telling him not to take his eyes off the chef for a second. The son comes back the next day excited. "You'll never believe what I saw!" he says. "He did have a secret ingredient, it's a piece of paper!" "A piece of paper?" "Yeah, he keeps a stack of printed paper in the kitchen. It's a bunch of Wikipedia articles he's printed out, of various movies. When he makes the chowder, he tears out the synopsis of a movie from one of the articles and puts it in. It's the strangest thing, but that's the secret ingredient." "Ah," says the dad, "the plot thickens."
Today is the birthday, in 1943, of Mick Jagger.
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