TUESDAY on my mind

Bada Bing!

Officer: “Soldier, do you have change for a dollar?”Soldier: “Sure, buddy.”Officer: “That’s no way to address an officer! Now, let’s try it again!”Officer: “Soldier. Do you have change for a dollar?”Soldier: “No, SIR!”

It’s the 1700’s. Two men are standing back to back with their single-shot pistols at the ready.First man, “Why are we doing this?”Second man, “Because you dishonored me. And also because I hate your stupid pun jokes!”First man, “I see. So it’s a duel purpose.”

As a kid, did you ever knock on people’s doors and run away before they could answer? Well, guess what, UPS is hiring.

Rage Against the Machine never specified what type of machine they were furious with but I suspect it was probably a printer.

If any of you non-rich people want to go to space for 10 minutes, I know a good brownie recipe.

I’m good at sleeping. I can do it with my eyes closed.

So, besides Mick Jagger, yesterday was also the birthday, in 1941, of Darlene Love. She sang with The Crystals. Here she is!