Today is the birthday, in 1844, of William Archibald Spooner, a British clergyman and long-serving Oxford don. He was most notable for his absent-mindedness, and for supposedly mixing up the syllables in a spoken phrase, with unintentionally comic effect. Such phrases became known as spoonerisms, and are often used humorously.
He was educated at Oswestry School and New College, Oxford. Spooner remained at New College for more than sixty years, serving as fellow (1867), lecturer (1868), tutor (1869), dean (1876–1889) and warden (1903–1924). He lectured on ancient history, divinity and philosophy (especially on Aristotle’s ethics).
Spooner became famous for his manner of speaking, real or alleged “spoonerisms”, plays on words in which corresponding consonants, vowels, or morphemes are switched. Spooner himself admitted to uttering “Kinkering Congs Their Titles Take” from the pulpit. Also attributed to him:
- “It is kisstomary to cuss the bride” (…customary to kiss the bride)
- “I am tired of addressing beery wenches” (weary benches)
- “Mardon me padam, this pie is occupewed. Can I sew you to another sheet?” (Pardon me, madam, this pew is occupied. Can I show you to another seat?)
- “You have hissed all my mystery lectures, and were caught fighting a liar in the quad.” (You have missed all my history lectures, and were caught lighting a fire in the quad).
- “You have tasted two worms” to a student who wasted two terms.
- “You will leave by the next town drain” (You will leave by the next down train)
On his death, The Times recorded that “He was not afraid of conversation”.
Spooner as caricatured by Spy (Leslie Ward) in Vanity Fair, April 1898
All 40!!
BADA BING!!!!!
I misspelled “I’m unstoppable,” and my phone autocorrected to “I’m unstable,” and honestly, that’s fair.
Old age teaches you to be efficient, resourceful, and strategic … like when you bend down to tie your shoe, you might as well see what else you can do while you’re down there.
I feel a whole lot more attractive at Walmart than I do at the gym. It’s all about picking the right crowd!
I will never understand how someone who saw him lie 30,573 times in the first term thought he would magically keep his promises in the second.
The reason the left was magically able to predict everything the tRUMP administration was going to do is by using deep knowledge created by being awake and alive at any point in the last 40 years.
Wanted: Someone to hand-feed me Doritos while I knit so my fingers don’t get orange. No weirdos.
If you’re ever lost in the woods, look for the North Star. Its twinkling will comfort you as you die.
Some people call it multitasking; I call it doing something else until I remember what I was going to do in the first place. (Bilbo)
BREAKING: Mike Johnson says God has anointed Trump and that Trump’s life is the “fruit of divine providence.” BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
I came home and my dog peed a little because he was happy to see me. None of my friends pee when they see me. I’m surrounded by fakes.
Scientists in the 90s: We cloned a sheep and landed a robot on Mars! Scientists today: For the last time, the Earth is *round.*
Doctor: I’m just waiting for your X-ray. Her: But I’ve never dated anyone named Ray. Doctor: And we might do a brain scan.
The mighty swordfish has few predators to worry about in the wild. Except for the seldom seen penfish, which is said to be even mightier.
Chicken lips went to HR and complained. Now we can’t use nicknames at work anymore.
Soup is really the ideal food because no one can ask you for a piece.
I tried to call the Werner Ladder Company. But it just rung and rung and rung.
What happens when a farmer runs out of manure on his farm? He has to make doo.
I crashed my bike in 1973 and scraped my knee. I didn’t have internet then, so I’m telling you now.
Today I’m going to be sensible and behave myself. Stop laughing! It could happen!
What is a four-letter word with a small laugh in the middle? It really is.
I was bored, so I put a pregnancy test kit box in the trash at work.
The Queen forced Prince Andrew out of public life for his association with Epstein. MAGA elected Trump President. Twice.
When I woke up this morning, my wife was cooking breakfast in nothing but a T-shirt. When she saw me, she said she needed me to have sex with her right now. I was surprised but happy to oblige. After I asked what that was all about. She said, “The timer broke and there was a minute left on the eggs.”
My doctor was amazed by my level of fitness. Actually, what he said was, “I could have sworn you would be dead by now.”
I said to my therapist, “I’ve been feeling ultra paranoid lately”. He said, “Well, you looked perfectly relaxed in your bath this morning”.
I’m a multitasker. I can listen, ignore, and forget all at the same time!
Think I’m gonna miss this one…
Today is the birthday, in 1947,of Don Henley, singer, songwriter, and drummer with the Eagles, who had the 1977 US No.1 & UK No.8 single ‘Hotel California’, plus 5 US No.1 albums. The Eagles ‘Greatest Hits 1971-1975’ is the second biggest selling album in the world with sales over 30m. Henley had the 1985 solo US No.5 & UK No.12 single ‘The Boys of Summer’. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxQXKO194XM
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