daily humor

Feb

2022

Another Tuesday in February

Today is Prešeren Day, a public holiday in Slovenia. This holiday commemorates the death of France Prešeren (1800 – 1849), a Slovene poet who is regarded as the greatest Slovene classical author. The day also serves as a time to reflect on all Sloven cultural achievements. You can read one of his poems HERE.

Bada Bing!

I read the nutrition facts on a box of cookies. I found out I need to eat 83 cookies to get 100% of my daily protein.

I got drunk last night and decided to do my own taxes. I’m getting back four million dollars this year!

If you’re 40+, it’s time to leave the young girls alone and get a woman that understands the signs of a stroke.

For her birthday, I took my wife to an orchard and we stood there looking at the trees for half an hour. Not the Apple Watch she was expecting apparently.

A lot of people don’t realize that the actor that played Wilson in Castaway is the same actor from the volleyball scene in Top Gun.

The English language is so crazy with silent “K”s. One silent K in “knot”. Two silent K’s in “knuckle”. Three silent K’s in “republican”. Four silent K’s in “knickknack”.

I, for one, like Roman numerals.

*airhorn sound* *second airhorn sound *Me: This isn’t deodorant!

Person giving me directions: You can’t miss it. Me: You wanna bet.

I wasn’t planning on going for a run today. But those cops came out of nowhere.

Parenting!

Here’s another great music video from the eighties. This one is iconic – great design and choreography.

Feb

2022

feels like MONDAY

Today is Constitution Day in Mexico celebrating the adoption of the constitution in 1917 after the Mexican Revolution.

So do you smoke or drink coffee? I drink it.

Modern Dating

What cats do best:

I didn’t find any good birthdays today but I did see some good videos. MTV launched in 1981 and VH1 a few years later and, in many ways, the eighties were the height of the highly-produced music video…like this one.

Feb

2022

and finally, FRIDAY appears

Today is National Day in Sri Lanka, celebrating its independence from British rule on this day in 1948.

Deep Thoughts

I started out with nothing. I still have most of it.

Sometimes when you push the envelope, the envelope pushes back.

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it five or six times just to be sure.

Common sense has become so rare that it should be considered a superpower.

Whoever stole my antidepressants, I hope you’re happy now.

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

You can expect me to work well with others or pass a drug test, but not both.

Signzzzzzzz

Today is the birthday, in 1947, of identical twins Margie and Mary Ann Ganser, vocalists for the Shangri Las. Here they are with one of their hits. Note: the motorcyclist in the video is Robert Goulet riding a 50cc Honda. How they kept a straight face is beyond me.

Feb

2022

THURSDAY lives again!

Today is Heroes Day in Mozambique; a day to remember those who gave their lives in the struggle for independence. February 3 is the date that independence leader Eduardo Mondlane was assassinated in Tanzania by the Portuguese government.

This is just harsh.

Sounds a bit like our former President.

Hegel: "The history of the world is none other than the progress of the consciousness of Freedom, towards the Absolute ideal free society."
Ludwig Feuerbach: "Interesting, Hegel, and through pure reason we can grasp this freedom?"

Hegel: "Our ideas can't come from “pure reason”, each of us is trapped in our moment of history and can only engage in the dialectic of our time."
Feuerbach: "so even when we reach the absolute ideal, we won't know it."
Hegel: "What? No, we've already reached it."

Feuerbach: "What."
Hegel: "I finished the dialectic myself. Philosophy is done."

Hegel: "The ideal free society is a constitutional monarchy with strong Christian ethics."

Feuerbach: "What."

Feuerbach: "So this is it? What about poor working people who are excluded from political life?"
Hegel: "Yeah, but the rabble should be excluded, they are stupid."

Feuerbach: "What about women? They will never raise their consciousness of freedom?"
Hegel: "How? They are free to obey their husbands now."

Feuerbach: "What about democracy?"
Hegel: "Nah, Democracy sucks, everything is perfect the way it is now."
Feuerbach: "That seems...unlikely."

Hegel: "Also, have i told you my theory about how Germans are better than other races? I used philosophy to discover this, by the way, not racism."

Today is the birthday, in 1940, of Angelo D’Aleo, singer with Dion and the Belmonts. The group began singing together in 1957 and was named for the Belmont section of the Bronx – known as the Little Italy of the Bronx. Here’s one of their hits.