Today is the anniversary of the Manifesto of Independence in Morocco. On this day in 1944, 66 members of the Moroccan National Movement signed the country’s Manifesto of Independence and presented it to the French and Spanish colonial authorities, as well as the representations of three global powers—the US, Great Britain, and the Soviet Union.
Bada Bing!
“Just cleared out some space in the freezer” sounds much more productive than “I just polished off another pint of ice cream”.
Two women who recently died were waiting at the Gates of Heaven. Woman 1: “So, how did you die?” Woman 2: “I froze to death.” Woman 1: “Wow, that must’ve been so painful. I’m so sorry.” Woman 2: “It was, but after a while, you go numb & don’t feel as much. How did you die?”
Woman 1: “Well, I thought my husband was cheating on me. So I rushed home early from work, but he was just playing video games. Then I ran into the bedroom to look for evidence, but I couldn’t find anything. So I ran to the bathroom to search, but I still couldn’t find anything. I even ran outside to the backyard, but I still couldn’t find anything there.”
Woman 2: “So what happened to you?” Woman 1: “I was so exhausted from running around that I collapsed & died.” Woman 2: “Well if you had looked in the freezer first we’d both be alive right now.”
Why do anti-vaxxers not lock their bikes? Because they know someone who locked their bike and it was still stolen.
I just turned off the news and put on a serial killer documentary to relax.
I just paid for a 12 month gym membership. My bank just called to see if my credit card was stolen.
I asked my wife what women really want.She said, attentive lovers. Or maybe she said a tent of lovers. I really wasn’t listening.
My therapist: Why aren’t you being honest with me? Me: Because I don’t want to be hospitalized.
Husband: I want you to have this bracelet. It belonged to my mother. Wife: Why does it say, “Do not resuscitate?”
If you can’t find your dog, open the refrigerator door. He’s standing right behind you.
Signzzzzzzz
Today is the birthday, in 1895, of Laurens Hammond, inventor of the Hammond Organ (and many other things). The sound of the Hammond Organ was widely used by rock musicians, including in this piece.
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