Today is Unity Day, a public holiday in Zimbabwe. This day commemorates the merger of two political parties, Zanu-PF and PF-Zapu on December 22nd 1987.
BADA BING!
Old age comes at a very bad time. When you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.
Santa has been watching you all year and has decided you’re not naughty. You’re mentally disturbed.
Kid talking to Santa in his living room: A drum set?! Santa: Yes, because your parents were naughty this year.
Man entering a meeting: Sorry I’m late, I broke down on the way to work. Coworker: Oh no, is your car running OK now? Man: My car?
Waiter: I see your glass is empty sir, would you like another? Man: Why would I want another empty glass?
We brought gold and frankincense for you, Jesus. But wait! There’s myrrh!
You know you are getting older when “Happy Hour” is a nap.
A jury is a group of twelve people of average ignorance.
The word ‘politics’ is derived from the word ‘poly,’ meaning ‘many,’ and the word ‘ticks,’ meaning ‘blood-sucking parasites.’
My college professor once sat me down and said, “So you know, you’re badly failing this ethics class.” So I slid $40 across the table and asked, “How about now?”
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems. But it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
Here’s another selection from The Nutcracker for your holiday enjoyment!
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