Today is, of course, the Lunar New Year and is particularly celebrated in most countries of East Asia and many other countries with substantial numbers of residents with East Asian backgrounds. Today is also Nauru Independence Day recognizing the day in 1946 when the Nauruans were returned from Truk.
Penguin.
Before Bitcoin
Bada Bing!
Any salad can be a Caesar salad if you stab it enough.
My goal is to be that old person everyone is afraid to take out in public.
Someone offered me grapes but I declined.I’m not used to consuming wine in pill form.
I think “nonfungible” sounds like it means “cannot be turned into a mushroom”.
An orchestra of 120 players takes 40 minutes to play Beethoven’s 9th Symphony. How long would it take 60 players to play the symphony?
A pastor of a church is sitting in his study when the phone rings. “Hello, is this Pastor Jones?” the caller asks. “It is”, replies the Pastor. “This is Bill Johnson with the Internal Revenue Service. I was wondering if you could answer a few questions for me?”
“I’ll try”, said the Pastor. “Do you know John Timmons?” “I do”. “Is he a member of your congregation?” “Yes, he is”.”Did he donate $30,000 to the church?” “…He will.”
Where’s the delete winter button?
You know you’re a bad driver when Siri says, “In 400 feet, stop and let me out.”
You know your credit is really bad when you receive a credit card offer that is pre-declined.
Have you ever heard a rumor about yourself and actually wanted to hear more? Like DAMN! What did I do next!
Guy 1: Redistribution of wealth doesn’t work. Guy 2: Did the guys with the wealth tell you that?
I’m the kind of wife who will help my husband look for his chocolate that I already ate.
Remember when we had to smack the TV because the station wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about far too many people.
When I see chocolate, I hear two voices in my head.One says, “Eat the chocolate.”The other says, “You heard her, eat the chocolate!”
I can’t decide whether to end on a neurology joke or a proctology joke.So I guess I’ll flip a coin, heads or tails.(Whoops, it landed on its edge.)
Today is the birthday, in 1934, of Bob Shane, one of the original Kingston Trio who had this number one song.
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