Tiw’s Day

Today is Constitution Day in Norway, a public holiday. It marks the signing of the constitution in 1814 which declared Norway to be independent from Sweden. Gratulerer med dagen, Norge!

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Health Data

That’s Good

sausage

Bada Bing!

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat to keep EVERYONE away, no matter what their profession.

Owning a dog is perfect for people that never want to eat a whole sandwich by themselves again.

Student: Can I do something to raise my grade? Teacher: Ummm… It’s May. Student: MAY I do something to raise my grade?

I keep trying to make protein shakes but they keep coming out as margaritas.

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

6YO: Daddy you’re so talented

Me: Awww Thank Y…

6YO: …this morning your snoring sounded like a pig was beatboxing.

Our dishwasher broke and I told the kids we have to wash everything in the sink and 5yo said, “Like you did in the olden days when you lived in a cave?”

I couldn’t afford an Ancestry DNA kit so I announced that I had won the lottery and I quickly found out who my relatives were.

Science question: Why do meteors always land in craters?

I felt sorry for the hypnotist last night. He hypnotized 7 guys, then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled “FUCK ME! “What happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Planning…

This day in 1963 was the first day of the very first Monterey Folk Festival. It featured Bob Dylan, Peter Paul and Mary and Joan Baez among others.