On this day in 30 BC, Cleopatra VII Thea Philopator, last of the Egyptian Ptolemaic Dynasty, committed suicide rather than be displayed in a triumphal parade in Rome. After her death, Egypt became a province of the Roman Empire, marking the end of the Hellenistic period in the Mediterranean, which had begun during the reign of Alexander.
Cleopatra began her reign alongside her brother Ptolemy XIII, but falling-out between them led to a civil war. Roman statesman Pompey fled to Egypt after losing the 48 BC Battle of Pharsalus against his rival Julius Caesar, the Roman dictator, in Caesar’s civil war. Ptolemy XIII died in the Battle of the Nile. Caesar declared Cleopatra and her brother Ptolemy XIV joint rulers, and maintained a private affair with Cleopatra which produced a son, Caesarion.
In the Liberators’ civil war of 43–42 BC, Cleopatra sided with the Roman Second Triumvirate formed by Caesar’s heir Octavian, Mark Antony, and Marcus Aemilius Lepidus. After their meeting at Tarsos in 41 BC, the queen had an affair with Antony which produced three children. Antony became increasingly reliant on Cleopatra for both funding and military aid during his invasions of the Parthian Empire and the Kingdom of Armenia.
After defeating Antony and Cleopatra’s naval fleet at the 31 BC Battle of Actium, Octavian’s forces invaded Egypt in 30 BC and defeated Antony, leading to Antony’s suicide. After his death, Cleopatra killed herself, probably by poisoning, to avoid being publicly displayed by Octavian in Roman triumphal procession.
When a spy informed her that Octavian planned to move her and her children to Rome in three days, she prepared for suicide as she had no intentions of being paraded in a Roman triumph like her sister Arsinoe IV. Cleopatra’s physician, Olympos, did not explain her cause of death, although the popular belief is that she allowed an asp or Egyptian cobra to bite and poison her. Plutarch relates this tale, but then suggests an implement (κνῆστις, knêstis, ‘spine, cheese-grater’) was used to introduce the toxin by scratching,; Dio says that she injected the poison with a needle, and Strabo argued for an ointment of some kind. Horace corroborates the common belief that it was a venomous snake, but instead states that it was several (serpentēs, ‘serpents’). Vergil agrees that it was several serpents.
She was an amazing woman who cleverly twisted many leaders of the Roman Empire around her fingers.


I’ve devised a perfect method to transform beer, wine, and liquor into urine…



Pimp my ride, the early years…




Welcomne…

Dee-Deee-Da-Dee-Dee


Kristi Noem’s brother???




Misogyny…


BADA BING!!!!!
I called my mom to see if she could come pick me up from this sleepover that I wasn’t having fun at. She told me “No way. You’re 38 now and that’s your wife and kids. You have to stay!”
I’m an alpha MAGA. I fear nothing — except trans, gay, Brown, Black, Muslim, and non-American people. Oh, and job numbers, fair elections, vaccines, rainbows, cities, education, socialism, pronouns, democracy, Taylor Swift, and Sesame Street.
True conversation heard at Applebee’s, “She would really like him if it wasn’t for his personality”.
My son proposed to his girlfriend about six months ago. They’re super happy, we love her family too. I just found out today that another girl is in love with him and plans to propose next week. Should I say anything? Oh and also, he’s 4. They’re all 4.
Marriage is realizing that your wife wants you to be quiet, but also talk to her, but also leave her alone, but also give her attention.
I think it’s foolish to spend so much on clothes to impress someone we want to be naked with.
Today I’m choosing kindness, but we’ll see. It’s still early.
My daughter told me she didn’t want to eat pork tongue because it came out of a pigs mouth. So I gave her an egg.
We have instant access to limitless information. It’s SO easy to not be wrong and yet some people stubbornly insist on it.
If we’re ever in a situation where I am the voice of reason, you’d better get yourself an attorney. (Bilbo)
Comedian Steve Hofstetter’s FB page…Gordan to Steve: Your and idiot. Steve: Holy hell. You wrote three words and you got two of them wrong. Bravo.
I took my suit to the cleaners, who wanted to charge me $15.00. So I gave my suit to the charity shop next door. They cleaned and pressed it and put it in the window. I bought it for $4.50!
I just saw this online: “I thought the White House already had a ballroom where they store the testicles of Congressional republicans.”
If you’re trying to distract us from the Epstein files and the fact you’re a rapist, maybe don’t go onto the White House roof. Cuz we’re all gonna call you the “Diddler on the Roof”.
Be decisive. The road of life is paved with flat squirrels who couldn’t make a decision.
Boobs are natures stress balls. Ironically they come attached to the greatest stress creating device known to man.
BEFORE THE INTERNET, MOST PEOPLE THOUGHT VILLAGES ONLY HAD ONE IDIOT. WOW, WE DID NOT HAVE THAT RIGHT.
Pepsi and Coca-Cola can’t even be in the same restaurant. And we want world peace.
I saw a guy at Starbucks today with no iPhone, no tablet, no laptop. He just sat there, drinking coffee, like a psychopath!
My grandson asked, “Do trees poop?”. I said, “That’s where #2 pencils comes from“.
The day they handed out patience, I left because it was taking too long.
Hooked all my wrist watches together and made a belt. Turned out to be a waist of time.
Saw someone taking a leek in the produce section today.
If you exchange two ten cent coins for 4 nickels you have a paradime shift.
Them: I eat mostly whole foods. Me: So do I. Whole pizzas, whole can of biscuits, whole cakes, whole bags of Doritos, whole tub of ice cream.
You can lead a person to the Internet, but you can’t make them think.
Eye drops are technically blinker fluid.
Me in HR office: “Does this rule apply to me?” HR: “A lot of these rules are because of you, so yes.”
Brain dead??















Today is the birthday, in 1963, of Sir Mix-A-Lot, American rapper, songwriter, and record producer who had the 1992 US No.1 single https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w59e20ijOpE
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