TOOSDAY

Today is the anniversary of the discovery of the statue Aphrodite of Melos, better known as Venus de Milo. The statue is an ancient Greek marble sculpture that was created during the Hellenistic period. Its exact dating is uncertain, but the modern consensus places it in the 2nd century BC, perhaps between 160 and 110 BC. It was rediscovered in 1820 on the island of Milos, Greece, and has been displayed at the Louvre Museum since 1821. Since the statue’s discovery, it has become one of the most famous works of ancient Greek sculpture in the world.

The Venus de Milo is believed to depict Aphrodite, the Greek goddess of love, whose Roman counterpart was Venus. The statue is missing both arms, the left foot, and the earlobes. There is a filled hole below her right breast that originally contained a metal tenon that would have supported the right arm. The sculpture was originally identified as depicting Aphrodite holding the apple of discord as a marble hand holding an apple was found alongside it; recent scientific analysis supports the identification of this hand as part of the sculpture.

I’ll stick with the cow…

Sue and Rick

chat + eau = chateau

Health nut??

BADA BING!!!

Imagine telling Denmark they don’t do enough for people in Greenland when Greenland has universal healthcare and you don’t.

So after arguing for an hour with a man who said I was in his seat, he finally said, “OK, YOU fly the plane!”

Canada elected a guy with a PhD in economics from Oxford. Mexico elected a woman with a degree in physics and a PhD in energy engineering. America elected a geriatric orange conman who talks like a carnie and went bankrupt six times.

Until the day I die, I will never understand how they were more upset about a Super Bowl halftime show than Elon Musk stealing our social security numbers.

Could we just commission artists to paint unflattering portraits of him every day to keep him occupied?

I was watching a TV show for about 10 minutes and this lady was listing all of these great things to do for fun. Then I realized that it was one of the religious channels and she was reading a list of sins.

Don’t worry Greenland. One more bottle of whiskey and Pete Hegseth will text you the complete invasion plans.

It’s disgusting that we live in a country where a homeless veteran who served his country can sleep in a cardboard box, while a draft dodger who works tirelessly to tear his country down can sleep in the White House.

Shout out to everyone who got through the day without taking a nap. Pulled an all-dayer today.

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

I think it’s disgraceful that after 50 years, people don’t know who Neil Armstrong was … or even the type of trumpet he played!

I went for a run but came back home after 2 minutes because I forgot something. I forgot that I’m fat and can’t run for more than 2 minutes.

Must be miserable to go about life thinking scientists, historians and journalists spent their entire lives lying to you, but a reality TV celebrity with decades of documented fraud is telling you the truth.

Remember when I asked for your opinion? Neither do I.

Happy B-day to all celebrating it this month! I hope you’re celebrating the way you came into this world. Naked and screaming.

Subway sign… Our footlong subs are 12 inches even when it’s cold.

I would rather the USA not be Trump’s 7th bankruptcy.

If one of my jokes offended you, it’ll probably happen again. I’m a repeat offender.

If you find a snakeskin, it means the snake shed it so it could grow bigger. Same thing if you find my clothes at Goodwill.

Even on Gilligan’s island, they listened to the professor, not the millionaire.