Today is Statehood Day in Serbia (Dan državnosti Srbije). It is a public holiday and commemorates the First Serbian Uprising in 1804 against the Ottoman Turks. It was not until 1867 that the last Turkish troops left Serbia.
Bada Bing!
5 ants + 5 ants = tenants
Bringing ants to your country from another country = important
Her: You told me you were interesting. Him: I said I was into resting.
Him text: Hey babe… I’m in the hospital. I got my leg injured at work and Paula brought me here. Doctors say I might lose my leg. Her: Who’s Paula?!
Her: You are gullible and financially irresponsible. Him (in his head): (Wait till she hears I’ve won the Nigerian Lottery.)
Anything can be a UFO if you’re bad at identifying stuff.
Does anyone know if we can take showers yet or should we just keep washing our hands?
I’m in a Wal-Mart parking lot watching a woman who can’t remember where she parked. Every time she holds her remote in the air, I honk my horn.
It’s weird being the same age as old people.
As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I remind myself that you can’t always trust Google maps.
On this day in 1975, Linda Ronstadt went to number one on the singles chart with this hit.
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