MMMONDAY

Today is National Day in Saint Lucia.

This public holiday in Saint Lucia is always celebrated on December 13th. It is Saint Lucia’s National Day and marks the Feast Day of Saint Lucia, the patron saint of the island.

Uh Oh

Bada Bing!

It’s been months since I bought the book “How to scam people online”. It still hasn’t arrived yet!

I wouldn’t last an hour if I had to answer the phone at the business called “Shack of Sit Funiture”.

I tried donating blood today. NEVER AGAIN! Too many stupid questions. Who’s blood is it? Where did you get it from? Why is it in a bucket?

Socialism is the fire department saving your house.Capitalism is the insurance company denying your claim.

Every day I worry that I’m going to scream “shut the fuck up” out loud instead of in my head.

I’m not so sure about an inner child, but I have an inner idiot that surfaces every once in a while.

I think my wife has started to show signs the first signs of Alzheimer’s.She said she can’t remember what she ever saw in me.

I want to see an episode of “undercover boss” with Jesus visiting Joel Olsteen’s church.

I once saw a guy holding up a sign that said, “I love you Stevie”, at a Stevie Wonder concert.

Now that food has replaced sex in my life I can’t even get into my own pants.

Pupils at school were asked to write about the harmful effects of oil on fish.One 11-year old wrote, “When my mom opened a tin of sardines last night it was full of oil and all the sardines were dead.”

Hugh Hefner became a multi-millionaire by staying home in his pajamas.I’m not having the same results.

Today is the birthday, in 1952, of Berton Averre, lead guitarist for The Knack.