Today is, of course, the anniversary of the Gunpowder Plot of 1605. It was an unsuccessful attempt by a group of English Catholics led by Robert Catesby to overthrow the government of King James VI who was seen as intolerant. The plan was to blow up the House of Lords during the State Opening of Parliament on Tuesday 5 November 1605,[a] as the prelude to a popular revolt in the Midlands during which King James’s nine-year-old daughter, Elizabeth, was to be installed as the new head of state.
Catesby is suspected by historians to have embarked on the scheme after hopes of greater religious tolerance under James had faded. A former soldier, Guy Fawkes, was given charge of the explosives. On 26 October 1605 an anonymous letter of warning was sent to William Parker, 4th Baron Monteagle, a Catholic member of Parliament, who immediately showed it to the authorities. During a search of the House of Lords on the evening of 4 November, Fawkes was discovered guarding 36 barrels of gunpowder—enough to reduce the House of Lords to rubble—and arrested.
The conspirators were either killed or captured. At their trial on 27 January 1606, eight of the surviving conspirators, including Fawkes, were convicted and sentenced to be hanged, drawn and quartered.
The event destroyed all hope for tolerance of the Catholics in England. In the summer of 1606, laws against recusancy were strengthened; the Popish Recusants Act returned England to the Elizabethan system of fines and restrictions, introduced a sacramental test, and an Oath of Allegiance, requiring Catholics to abjure as a “heresy” the doctrine that “princes excommunicated by the Pope could be deposed or assassinated”. Catholic emancipation took another 200 years.
The Discovery of the Gunpowder Plot (c. 1823), by Henry Perronet Briggs
visualize this…
BADA BING!
Space alien: Take me to your leader. Earthling: You’ve sort of come at a bad time.
MAGA: Yay, Trump’s cutting off freeloaders!! ALSO MAGA: Hey why is my food stamp card not working!?
I’m trying to see things from your perspective, but I just can’t make myself that dumb.
I bought a second hand time machine next Sunday. They don’t make them like they’re going to anymore.
Had an elderly boss who got scammed out of $5000 in a “your mac is infected” call. I told her it was a scam and reported it to Chase credit. That night, she called the scammer, angry. “I’m sorry”. he said. “I’ll refund you! What’s your debit card info?” Guess what she did…
Coffee mug saying… I am a ray of fucking sunshine.
I was gonna start dieting, but Halloween is coming up, then Thanksgiving, and Christmas. Before you know it, it’s BBQ season again and I’m not about to turn down a cheeseburger.
My Girlfriend yelled at me, “Stop it with all your corny jokes!” I said, “What are you gonna do, call the crops?”
Tim decided to tie the knot with his long-time girlfriend. One evening, after the honeymoon, he was out in the garage organizing his golfing equipment. His wife came to the door and after a long period of silence, she said, “Tim, I’ve been thinking, now that we’re married, maybe it’s time you quit golfing. You spend so much time on the course. I’m sure you could probably get a good price for your clubs.” Tim got a horrified look on his face. His wife said, “Darling, what’s wrong?” Tim shook his head and said, “For a minute there, you started to sound like my ex-wife.” “Ex-wife!” she screamed, “I didn’t know you were married before!” He gave her a pointed look and said, “I wasn’t.”
A man and wife were sitting in their easy chairs… she was watching TV and he was reading…. she said, “Sam, if I died, do you think you would get married again?” He didn’t drop his paper and replied, “Oh, I don’t know… maybe, I guess…” She was taken aback. “What? You’d actually marry another woman after me?!” “I guess — I don’t know…” “Well, would you give her my golf clubs, too?” “No, she’s left-handed.”
When do flowers get their workouts in? Spring training.
What time does everyone love to drink? Wine o’clock.
What did police have to do when 500 hares got loose downtown? They had to comb the area.
Why do cows go to New York City? To see the moo-sicals.
A bear that got wet from a light rain is called what? A drizzly bear.
Where do dads store their dad jokes? In the dad-a-base.
What do you call Dracula with hay fever? The pollen Count.
Where do sports teams go to buy new uniforms? New Jersey.
What do you call an enlisted man who loves to cook? A grill sergeant.
A dog will love you more than any person. But they’ll also steal your sandwich.
I’m collecting my thoughts. I almost have a full set.
Facebook has taught me a couple of things. First, there are some incredibly brilliant people in the world. Second, they are vastly outnumbered.
Jehovah’s Witnesses don’t celebrate Halloween. I guess they don’t appreciate random people coming up to their door.
Running is a great way to meet new people. Today, I met two EMTs, three nurses, and a cardiologist.
My fondest childhood memory is thinking $100 was a lot of money.
My body isn’t a temple. It’s a haunted house. It needs a lot of work, makes mysterious creaking sounds, and contains the spirit of a creepy old man that’s always mad about something.
I think my house is haunted by the ghost of a chicken. It’s a poultrygeist. A fowl spirit. I’m going to call an eggsorcist, to help it cross to the other side.
I might wake up early and go for a jog. I may also win the lottery. Odds are about the same.
Today is the birthday, in 1956, of British musician Helen O’Hara. She was a member and violinist of Dexys Midnight Runners from 1982 to 1987. They are best known in the UK for their songs ‘Geno’ and ‘Come On Eileen’, both of which reached No. 1 on the UK Singles Chart, and achieved six other top-20 singles. ‘Come On Eileen’ also topped the US Billboard Hot 100. After leaving Dexys, O’Hara worked with Graham Parker, Tanita Tikaram (with whom she recorded ‘Good Tradition’ and toured from 1988 to 1990) and Mary Coughlan. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6BODDyZRF6A
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