Tom

May

2022

Tiw’s Day

Today is Constitution Day in Norway, a public holiday. It marks the signing of the constitution in 1814 which declared Norway to be independent from Sweden. Gratulerer med dagen, Norge!

That’s Good

Bada Bing!

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat to keep EVERYONE away, no matter what their profession.

Owning a dog is perfect for people that never want to eat a whole sandwich by themselves again.

Student: Can I do something to raise my grade? Teacher: Ummm… It’s May. Student: MAY I do something to raise my grade?

I keep trying to make protein shakes but they keep coming out as margaritas.

Co-worker: You look so unapproachable. Me: Yet, here you are.

6YO: Daddy you’re so talented

Me: Awww Thank Y…

6YO: …this morning your snoring sounded like a pig was beatboxing.

Our dishwasher broke and I told the kids we have to wash everything in the sink and 5yo said, “Like you did in the olden days when you lived in a cave?”

I couldn’t afford an Ancestry DNA kit so I announced that I had won the lottery and I quickly found out who my relatives were.

Science question: Why do meteors always land in craters?

I felt sorry for the hypnotist last night. He hypnotized 7 guys, then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled “FUCK ME! “What happened next will haunt me for the rest of my life.

Planning…

This day in 1963 was the first day of the very first Monterey Folk Festival. It featured Bob Dylan, Peter Paul and Mary and Joan Baez among others.

May

2022

MUNDAY or something like that

Today is Buddha Purnima in India and many other countries, celebrating the birth of Prince Siddhartha Gautama, later the Gautama Buddha in Lumbini, Nepal sometime around 500 BCE.

Uh oh

I think the patient in room C is dying. Does he have insurance? No, he doesn't. Yep, he's dying.

Signzzzzz

Today is the birthday, in 1948, of Alto Reed, long-time member of Bob Seger and the Silver Bullet Band.

May

2022

Today is the Royal Ploughing Ceremony (Wan Phra Ratcha Phithi Phuet Monkhon Lae Charot Phra Nangkhan Raek Na Khwan) in Thailand, a government holiday. It is also known as Farmers’ Day. The Royal Ploughing Ceremony is an ancient royal tradition observed in Cambodia, Myanmar and Thailand to mark the traditional beginning of the rice-growing season.

Who the hell is Kevin?????

A Day in Court…

Funny overheard courthouse conversation.

no good birthdays today. Here’s Gordon Lightfoot.

May

2022

Today is THOR’s Day, so wield your hammer

St. Andrew the First-Called Day is a public holiday in Georgia celebrated annually on May 12th. Andrew is credited with spreading the gospel to several regions in Eastern Europe such as Georgia, Greece, Romania and Russia.

Suspicious…

Weird? You decide.

Today is the birthday, in 1948, of Steve Winwood. Here he is playing and singing with the Spencer Davis Group.

May

2022

DAY OF WEDNES

Today is the Death Anniversary of Zhabdrung, a public holiday in Bhutan. The nation of Bhutan was founded in the 17th century by Zhabdrung (meaning “at whose feet one submits”) Ngawang Namgyal, a Tibetan Buddhist lama, known colloquially as the Bearded Lama.