Tom

not quite friday…it’s THURSDAY!

We’re still working through some Christmas holidays. It’s Epiphany, or Three Kings Day in many countries, Christmas Day in Armenia and Lebanon and Christmas Eve in most Orthodox Christian countries. Also Coptic Christmas Eve. it’s a big world.

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Working from Home:

I was on a zoom meeting just now and my husband needed to go behind me so he thoughtfully crawled to stay out of the camera, which means instead of seeing him walk by in his underwear my coworkers saw him crawl by in his underwear.
Pro-tip for couples suddenly working from home together: Get yourselves an imaginary coworker to blame things on. In our apartment, Cheryl keeps leaving her dirty water cups all over the place and we really don't know what to do about her.
My wife has a Zoom call for work, which means the dog and I have to stay in the bedroom since we don't know how to behave on Zoom calls.
A funny thing about quarantining is hearing your partner in full work mode for the first time. Like, I’m married to a “let’s circle back” guy — who knew?
Hearing my wife in meetings--especially with subordinates--and it dawns on me that she uses personnel management techniques on me all the time.
My husband has been working from home for 6 weeks. I've learned that he basically gets paid to be in meetings. Speak in meetings, meet with other people about their last meeting, and have meetings to plan for the next meeting.
I know we’ve been working from home for a year, but it’s still such a trip to listen in on your partner’s work zooms & hear them say phrases you never usually hear them say like “brand loyalty” and “quantitative research” and “my wife can’t find out about us”

Today is the birthday, in 1959, of Kathy Sledge, the youngest and founding member of Sister Sledge, the vocal group made of of Kathy and her sisters, Debbie, Joni and Kim. Kathy was the lead vocalist on this hit.

Posted by Tom in Humor, Music, sixties and seventies

WHEN’S DAY

Today is Christmas Eve in Armenia. Armenia was one of the first countries to adopt Christianity as a state religion and their festivals developed independently of the influence of Rome. Thus they retained the original date for Christmas rather than following the western practice of switching it to December 25 to subsume the pagan festival of the sun on that date.

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It’s WINTER

More Questions:

If a Dodge Stealth hits a Mitsubishi Mirage, did an accident really happen?

If we find life on other planets, what will happen to the Miss Universe pageant?

Is there another word for “synonym”?

If a homeschooling mom is talking to herself, is she crazy or is it a parent-teacher conference?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy friends for her?

How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow signs?

Why do psychics have to ask you your name?

Why are there five syllables in “monosyllabic”?

Today is the birthday, in 1940, of Athol Guy. He was one of the founders of The Seekers, an Australian group for whom he played double bass. He always wore distinctive black-framed glasses.

Posted by Tom in Humor, Music, sixties and seventies

not monday so it must be TUESDAY

Today is the Day of the Martyrs in The Democratic Republic of Congo. The day commemorates those who died on January 4, 1959 as a part of the push for independence from Belgium.

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Bada Bing!

Old age comes at a bad time. When you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Not to brag but I can always tell when the dinosaurs in movies are fake.

Son: Daddy, I keep hearing noises in my closet. I think there’s a monster in there.Dad: Yeah, why do you think mom and I chose the other bedroom?

I’m starting to think I’ll never be old enough to know better.

I’m an adult and I can eat whatever I want whenever I want. I wish someone would take this power away from me.

I helped my neighbor with something this morning and she said, “I could marry you!” I couldn’t believe it. You do something nice for someone and they threaten to ruin your life in return.

I see Ivermectin trending again so that’s heartworming.

It’s OK for a cat to run away and hide under the bed when visitors turn up. But when I do it, I’m antisocial.

Eating too much cake is the sin of gluttony.However, eating too much pie is OK because the sin of pi is always zero.

A blacksmith is training his new apprentice. Getting to know the boy’s skills, the blacksmith asks, “Have you ever shoed a horse?” The apprentice replies, “No, but I did once tell a donkey to fuck off.”

Two ducks are flying south for the winter when an Air Force jet flies overhead. One duck says to the other, “Did you see that? Jeez, he was moving.” The other duck says, “I bet you would too if you had two assholes and both were on fire.”

There’s this actor, Marty, in his 50s living in L. A. who’s never had his big break. One day, his agent calls him. “Marty, you’re not gonna believe it. I got you a part. It’s on Broadway. It’s just one line, but it’s a huge play. And you’re on tomorrow night. “Marty says, “This is great. What’s the line?” The agent says, “Hark! I hear the cannons roar.” Marty agrees to the part, and he’s thrilled. He gets to the airport and starts running the line out loud over and over again all the way to New York. “Hark! I hear the cannons roar. Hark! I hear the cannons roar.” All the way to the theater he runs the line. He gets to the theater, goes backstage, waits for his cue. He runs onstage and hears the cannon. BOOM! And he screams, “What the fuck was that?”

I’m tweeting from the hospital. Don’t worry, the doctor said I’ll be OK.Be advised, the Dyson Ball Cleaner has a very deceiving name.

Today is the birthday, in 1946, of Arthur Conley, best known for this song…

Posted by Tom in Humor, Music, sixties and seventies

ugh, it’s MONDAY

Today is the last day of the St. Kitts and Nevis Carnival, also known as Sugar Mas. It is a national holiday and looks like fun.

Throat and Nasal Passages
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Dad was in the hospital and they asked us his blood type, but we couldn't remember and he didn't make it. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.

Books for kids…

"If God Loves Me, Why Can't I Get My Locker Open?" by Lorraine Peterson
"Llama Destroys The World" by Jonathan Stutzman
"I'd Really Like To Eat a Child" by Sylviane Donnio
"The Gas We Pass: The Story of Farts" by Shinta Cho
"Go the F**k to Sleep" by Adam Mansbach

Today is the birthday, in 1945, of Stephen Stills.

Posted by Tom in Humor, Music, sixties and seventies

MATRIX

Lauren Groff Reimagines a Medieval Feminist Hero in 'Matrix'

I recently finished reading Matrix by Lauren Groff. I loved it and immediately went out and reserved a couple of other books by the same author. Others liked it as well; it was a finalist for the National Book Award, named a Best Book of the Year by The New York Times, The Washington Post, TIME, NPR, The Financial Times, Good Housekeeping, Esquire, Vulture, Marie Claire, Vox, The Los Angeles Times, USA Today and more!

Loosely based on the life of the 12th century poet, Marie de France, Matrix is an inspiring novel that truly demonstrates the power women wield, regardless of the era. It has sisterhood, love, war, sex — and many graphic deaths, all entangled in a once-forgotten abbey in the English countryside.

The year is 1158. As a “bastardess sibling of the crown,” the orphaned Marie de France is, alas, no glittering jewel to set in a queen’s gilded court. “Three heads too tall,” a “great clumsy lunk” with a “giant bony body,” Groff’s Marie is frankly unmarriageable: too ugly and unwieldy a burden to place on any man. On the other hand, she is educated and, having been left to fend for herself since the age of 12, when her mother died, knows how to run an estate — and how different is that from a nunnery? As it happens, Eleanor has just such a place on her hands, a “dark and strange and piteous place, a place to inspire fear.”

Reluctant at first to assume her role as prioress to pious old women, 17-year-old Marie attempts to reverse her banishment by writing an extensive ode to Queen Eleanor in an attempt to win her favor and be asked back to court. (This is Groff’s only nod to the poet’s real life in the novel.) But Marie’s writing days are quickly replaced with a spiritual devotion to the women who she comes to care for.

Marie’s answer to her exile from court is to remain devoted to a vision that excludes both Adam and the serpent. Her decades-long care for and control of the women fate places in her hands will only harden her resolve to disobey what Eleanor presents as the basic ground rule between the sexes: the “laws of submission” that place women at the mercy of men.

Marie gradually transforms this collection of starving and sickly women into a powerful abbey hidden in an Arthurian forest.

She arrives as a child and grows into a formidable woman, with urges, desires, and issues like any other woman. Guided by visions she claims are from God, given to her to protect the women under her care, she also stirs trouble — because a woman like her should not have power.

Groff often conflates Marie’s desire for power with her desire to keep her charges safe: She publicly challenges political laws, social structures, and ecclesiastical mores, seemingly for her personal enjoyment and prosperity. Outside the abbey walls, crusades and political stratagems occupy her mind.

There are moments where we witness the growth of a woman in a religious institution and everything is sacred — at least for a moment. Then in quick succession, Groff reminds us that yes, these are women of God, but sometimes they’re just earthly women. Her allusions to female pleasure — such as masturbation and oral sex — are done as stealthily as her allusions to heinous actions such as rape, almost like a whisper that you might miss if you’re not paying attention. But there are instances where allusions are not enough, and she is graphic, leaving little to the imagination when discussing death and sickness.

It’s a wonderful story and Groff is not just a skilled writer, but an amazing one. It’s not a long book – about 250 pages in hardback and, once you get into it, you will be immersed. Go read this book, you will enjoy it.

Posted by Tom in Books, Literature