Recipe
Read Carefully
Bada Bing!
The ship stuck in the Suez should be named in honor of Mitch McConnell.It’s big, full of crap, and obstructing everything in its path.
I recently wrote a sitcom about airplanes. It never took off. The pilot was terrible.
She was wearing unscented perfume. It came in a little empty bottle.
My friend writes songs about sewing machines.He’s a Singer songwriter, or sew it seams.
Do not regret past mistakes. All decisions, good or bad, led you to where you are today.Disregard this if you are in prison.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
A Catholic priest announces at church one day, “I will be in Rome next week. If any of you have a wish, I will light a candle in Rome so that the wish will come true.” A woman announces, “My husband and I have been married for several years, but have never borne any children. Can you light a candle so that we can have children?” “I will do that,” says the priest. Five years later, the woman says to the priest, “Since you went to Rome and lit that candle, I have given birth to two pairs of twins and a set of triplets, and now I am pregnant with quadruplets!” She then gives the priest a plane ticket to Rome. “You are too kind,” says the priest. “You don’t need to thank me.” “I’m not thanking you,” says the woman. “I just want you to blow out that candle.”
Today is the birthday, in 1940, of Astrud Gilberto. She was born in the state of Bahia and raised in Rio de Janeiro. She married João Gilberto in 1959. She sang two tracks on the influential 1964 album Getz/Gilberto, including the one below. She had never sung professionally before. This clip is taken from a 1964 movie.
Comments