Today is Sandinista Revolution Day in Nicaragua. This day commemorates the defeat of the Somoza dictatorship on this day in 1979. On July 19th 1979, Sandinista soldiers defeated the National Guard and toppled Somoza, who fled to Paraguay where he was assassinated in 1980.
Math…
Bada Bing!
The man that invented the Ferris Wheel never met the man that invented the Merry Go Round. They traveled in different circles.
I wish everything was as easy as getting fat.
Patriots! Arabic numerals are being taught in our schools!
ARABIC NUMERALS!
Having kids makes you realize how dumb your lies used to sound to your parents.
Wi-Fi went down 5 minutes ago, so I’m having to talk to my family.  They seem like nice people.
The lord moves in mysterious ways but you don’t have to. Use your turn signal.
Fuel prices are so high, that I went to a car dealership and test drove three cars to run my errands.
New rule: You can’t tell me when life begins when you don’t even know when an election is over.
A small joy in my life is that my sister is dating a guy with the same name as her cat Nigel, and he hates we all call him human Nigel.
Today is the birthday, in 1944, of George Frayne (Commander Cody).
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