TUESDAY!

Today is Independence Day in Cambodia commemorating the day Cambodia became independent from France in 1953 under the leadership of Norodom Sihanouk.

Bada Bing!

I’m not saying you’re stupid.I’m just saying you have bad luck when it comes to thinking.

I’m currently working on a diary full of lies.I want my loved ones to read it after I die and go “Wait, WHAT!”

If a prisoner is released early, does it mean he doesn’t complete his

The wife was doing her makeup early morning straight out of bed.Husband: Are you crazy!Wife: Just shut up! I need to unlock my phone. It’s on face recognition feature and it doesn’t recognize me!

I asked her how she spelled Mississippi. She asked the river or the state? I’m never asking Mrs. Sippy anything again. 

As we wrap up another Halloween, I’m reminded that whoever determined that a 1-inch candy bar should be called “fun-sized” should really re-evaluate their standards for entertainment.

As you get older, you’ve got to stay positive. For example, the other day I fell down the stairs.Instead of getting upset, I thought, “Wow, that’s the fastest I’ve moved in years!”

Every time you talk to your wife, you should always remind yourself, ‘this conversation will be recorded for training and quality purposes.

Policeman: My dog tells me you’re on drugs.Citizen: You’re the one with the talking dog!

Imagine, if you will, a people so conflicted that they will scream “all lives matter” while simultaneously refusing to wear a mask to protect all those lives that matter.

I shot my first turkey yesterday. Scared the shit out of everyone in the frozen food section.

Today is the birthday, in 1941, of Tom Fogarty. He’s best known as the rhythm guitarist for Credence Clearwater Revival. That’s him on the far left while his brother, John, handles the vocals.