SALI

As they say in Istanbul.

Bada Bing!

The greatest boxer of all time, Pastor Jim Jones. He took out hundreds of people with one punch.

If Jesus had been female, we’d be singing Hers in church.

Fun stuff… Bring a big bolt to an amusement part, get on a roller coaster with someone that looks terrified. When the ride starts hold up the bolt and say, “Wait!, where did this come from?”

My therapist told me to finish things I started.Today I finished 2 bottles of wine and a cake.I feel better already.

I’m finally old enough to do anything I want.Too tired to actually do it.

A mosquito just landed on my husband’s face.Easiest decision of my life.

When you’re stressed you eat ice cream, cake, and chocolate.Why?Because stressed spelled backward is desserts.

It’s been a bit of a strange day.First I found a hat full of money.Then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar.

Buy my new book…Everybody Sucks at Driving Except Me

How many times do you have to click ‘I accept cookies’ before they send you the cookies?!

Someone asked me what the ninth letter of the alphabet was.It was a complete guess but I was right.

An Ohio man is suing Smart Water for not making him smart.I would like to formally announce my lawsuit against Thin Mints.

Today is the birthday, in 1902, of Ed Sullivan, the creator and host of the TV variety show, Toast of the Town, later renamed as The Ed Sullivan Show. His introduction of this group to the US in February of 1964 was the most watched TV show in history to that point and remains one of the most watched TV shows of all time.